Today, my psychotic grandma set fire to our Christmas tree because she refuses to let us celebrate what she calls a twisted pagan holiday. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my family and I were decorating the Christmas tree. It seemed a bit unstable, but we decorated it without any problems. Later, while my daughter sat by the tree, it began to fall. Her grandmother stopped the tree from hitting her. I, on the other hand, screamed like a little girl. I'm a 38 year-old guy. FML
Today, I was overseeing a nativity play rehearsal. Things went fairly well, until a boy's grandma stormed in, ranting that Christmas is a "Pagan abomination", and shouting for him and his mom to leave with her. Half the kids were left in tears, and we had to cancel the rehearsal. FML
Today, my grandma came over for the holidays. She tried explaining how Santa is actually Christ reincarnated, giving presents to all the good little Christian boys and girls. She'll be staying all week. FML
Today, it's that time of year again: my mom has threatened to disown me if I celebrate Christmas in any way, shape, or form. Yes, she is an extreme bible thumper. No, she doesn't see what is wrong with her behavior, nor does she care. FML
Today, my family was celebrating my grandma's 90th birthday. I pulled a little prank and got candles that keep relighting. After a few blows, my grandma fainted. FML
Today, I woke up to find our Christmas tree knocked over, unwrapped presents scattered everywhere, and my mom passed out on the sofa with a bottle of booze. Merry Christmas. FML
Today, my mom got drunk and decided to unwrap all my Christmas gifts and throw them at the wall. Ho, ho, ho. FML
Today, my perfectly healthy grandmother came to stay for Christmas. First, she persuaded my family to give her my bedroom. That would have been fine, until she demanded she should also have a bucket to piss in under my bed too. FML
Today, my psycho grandma yelled at me for being an "immature brat" by not offering to wash the dishes after dinner. I reminded her that when I offered last time, she raged at me for being "condescending." She responded by faking a heart attack and getting me indefinitely grounded. FML
Today, I woke up to my overly religious grandmother trying to shove salt down my throat yelling "DEMON BE GONE!". Why? I didn't wear the cross neckless she bought me. FML
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Top comments
airforce987 20
To be perfectly honest, the Christmas tree is actually adopted from Germanic pagan traditions and there is no proof that Jesus was born on December 25th. She has a valid point.
thatkid00117 16
What's a family holiday without unstable family members?
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Comments (161)
ObsessedWithMe 13
Hope no one got hurt and nothing was damaged, the tree can be replaced easily enough.
_GoodGuy 11
The Grinch came early.
lameuser 23
Good ole grandma!
G_bear24 9
I would probably break down crying if someone did that to me.
onlychildFTW 34
Why? Because trees aren't replaceable. Oh wait there's forests. Because presents aren't repla... Never mind that. Or is it because of the decorations that are melted? Good news you can buy new ones There are better reasons to break down crying.
Thunderstruck14 30
We are all different and cry for different reasons. Chill.
AgentPlatypus73 8
Well, besides the fact that it's hard to see something you worked hard to decorate destroyed in such a way, but it would also be ******* TERRIFYING to watch your own grandma set fire to something inside your house.
Nooblah 15
Make a bunch of Christmas tree shaped cookies and give it to her.
tman1985 9
she would wind up putting them back in the oven to burn them purposely as well
PenguinForDinner 16
Only oven? I'm AT LEAST hoping for some flamethrower action! >:D
slickchrome 11
give her a fuel bucket while your at it
gracehi 33
Yeah, Grandma, it's totally the HOLIDAY that's twisted.
perdix 31
Does "psychotic" mean "knowledgeable about ancient history?" Lots of elements of today's Christmas observance derive from pagan practices. Blasphemious, yes, but hella fun, too!
gracehi 33
I think OP was refereeing to the arson as psychotic.
perdix 31
#25, good point, settling differences with fire is barbaric, even by old world standards, she should have smited them instead.
CyberGothic 16
Isn't "smote" the past tense form of "smite"?
perdix 31
#48, maybe, but the past participle is "smitten." I'm not really sure what it means, but it's ancient -- even before MY day ;)
CyberGothic 16
"Smitten" has an entirely different context.
tman1985 9
fire, smite, barbaric? .... almost sounds like a diablo 2 reference
sexysaltshaker 11
Ah, Christmas. The time where the family unites.
sexysaltshaker 11
When*. Argh.
Goblin182 27
It's when dyslexic families untie.
chrisc411 11
actually the use of a tree during Christmas is derived from the pagan holidays of the winter solstice so she's partially right nothing evil about it tho
xerbrus 14
it is on the same day as a pagan holiday Jesus was born in spring not winter