Health: Today, my physics teacher accidentally lit me on fire. FML

I think your physics teacher is awesome. IMHO, the ideal science teacher is the one that makes the administration nervous that he's going to blow up a wing of the building. The ideal administration is the one that lets him teach anyway.

lovergirl7 1

Friday 19 March 2010 0:28

hahaha #1 win

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The Top

Today, I was in the bathroom taking a massive dump, with the door closed, moaning and yelling to get it out, knowing I was home alone. When it was done, I walked out to see my mother on the couch who said, "I know masturbation is normal, but please try to do it while we're not here." FML

I agree, your life sucks 834

You deserved it 1 356

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I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 6

The Top

Today, I'm still freshly circumcised. My penis is still very sensitive, and I can't squat to grab stuff off the floor because of the pressure against my jeans. Kicking the objects up into my hands was working well, that is until I spilled a pack of 300 toothpicks all over the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 990

You deserved it 7 879

Today, I got in trouble with my boss for not showing up to work yesterday. It seems going into anaphylactic shock isn't a valid excuse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 399

You deserved it 1 349

Today, I got an email from a professor saying he was going to fail me for missing the allotted absences, which is school policy. I pointed out I was in the hospital for two weeks with a life threatening illness and that he even came to visit me. He told me, "Rules are rules." FML

I agree, your life sucks 155 183

You deserved it 7 376

Today, the nine year old girl I was babysitting got the hiccups, so I told her to drink some water upside down to cure them. She ended up vomiting on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 158

You deserved it 11 926

Today, I biked to the lake. And by "to" I mean "into". With my phone in my jacket and my laptop in my backpack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 065

You deserved it 4 673

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. My mum walked in and told him to pull out and show her that he was wearing a condom, and not just saying he was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 413

You deserved it 9 312