Today, my parents went out of town and I was home all alone. I put up party decorations such as streamers, balloons and confetti. Then, I drank out of red cups, crushed them up and put them all over the house. I didn't have a party, I just wanted to convince my family that I'm not a loser. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I had a bunch of parties while my parents were out of town. I made sure to clean up absolutely everything, I even vacuumed the stairs. As they pulled up, I noticed all of the trash bags filled with beer cans blocking their way into the garage. FML
Today, my parents came home after being out of town for the weekend. I stayed home, did homework and completely cleaned the house, thinking I could earn some brownie points with them. They saw how clean the house was and accused me of covering up a party. FML
Today, I found out that the day I moved out of my parents' house, they invited my whole family over and had a party to celebrate the fact that I was gone. FML
Today, my parents, who are out of town but driving back tomorrow, called to see how I was doing. They asked if I'd thrown a party in their absence, and I said no. My dad replied, "Well I'm currently looking at pictures on Facebook of our kitchen with beer and a bong on the table." FML
Today, my parents got back from their weekend ski trip. I had a few parties over the weekend and had cleaned up absolutely EVERYTHING; beer cans, throw up, spilled drinks, etc. The only thing I forgot about was the condom someone left in my parents bed. FML
Today, I got all dressed up for a New Year's party. When my parents and siblings left the house to their parties, I got undressed. I wasn't going to a party. I only got dressed up so my family would think I had plans. FML
Today, it was my 21st birthday and I invited a handful of my best friends over. They all stood me up and I drank alone in my apartment. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, I held a house party. For fun, I made sure all the beer was alcohol-free, so I could see which of my friends would be weak-minded enough to end up acting drunk. Three did. I was one of them. FML
Today, everyone at work was demanding I stage a party at my house. I agreed to it and rushed home to tidy up before the guests arrived. No one showed up. FML
Today, I thought I had gotten away with throwing a party while my folks were gone the night before. They came home and I was as sweet as possible. I could tell they were not buying it, but I thought I was in the clear. Later, they told me I had drunk-dialled them and spilled the beans. FML
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Top comments
JumbledGirl 2
Aww.... You forgot to break things...
natsaysheyyy 16
Uhhm... No one puts up party decorations for an actual party...
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Comments (190)
emberwolf21 0
And if ur family thinks ur a loser then that's their problem. You shouldn't care what other ppl think of u.
jdortega 2
Then they saw you wrote on fml and now think you're a bigger loser than before
babyshaft408 8
Wow
mugu 0
That's just sad.... Feel bad for ya though :(
ClosetTroll 10
What a brilliant plan. Your social skills skyrocketed overnight and there's no reason why your parents shouldn't believe you.
kuykerjr 3
Ni
BrotherTheo 31
*sigh* on one hand, ya I understand the pull to prove to be someone, to *anyone* that there's some sign that you may be popular. On the other... It sounds like you're on the young side, yes? And your parents trusted you alone in the house alone? And the felt you could be trusted alone in the house? This is actually kinda a Big Deal, and far more then being thought of as being popular they may actually *respect* you. Given a choice between being thought of as being 'popular' and being 'respected' I'll take 'respected' every time.
BeClassy_BeMe 3
#85 you should listen to 'High School Never Ends' by Bowling For Soup, it contradicts your statement perfectly.
VeganVampyre 27
Yes! That song is awesome.
nofearjenshere 12
This FML app is acting so weird lately!
niyah4sho 11
-meanwhile OP's parents read this FML- You might've been able to fool you're parents but you can never lie to yourself. Forever alone.
stevenmx86 8
I hope no one finds out what really happened.. Then you'll really be seen as a loser...