Today, my parents brought me an ice cream birthday cake. I would think after 23 years they would remember my lactose intolerance. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I turned 18. My parents remembered that I loved German chocolate cake, so I awoke to a hot, fudge-filled chocolate cake with a slice cut out just for me. I've been lactose-intolerant for 8 years. As I cried, my mom handed me tissues, while eating the "Happy" part of my cake. FML
Today, my mom told me she is serving lasagna and Italian cream cake at my bridal shower. I'm severely lactose intolerant, which I have been telling her for years. She responded by telling me, and I quote, "The food is for the guests." FML
Today, it was my birthday. My only birthday present was a cake that my dad bought from Walmart. Well, it sure looked tasty. The only problem: it had nuts on it. Guess what I'm highly allergic too? At least my dad told me he'd "tell me how it tastes." FML
Today, I ordered a beer with my parents at dinner. The waitress said, "Oh, happy 22nd birthday." My parents eyes got really big, and they started to blush. They'd forgotten it was my birthday. FML
Today, it's my 21st birthday. My parents' gift was a case of non-alcoholic beer, to "prepare" me for when I "turn 21." My parents can't even remember how old I am. FML
Today, my parents threw out the beautiful birthday cake my aunt made me, and served celery sticks at my party because I need to "watch my weight." FML
Today, I had pizza for lunch, a cheesy burrito and cheese rice for dinner, topped off with a big bowl of ice cream. Three hours later, I puked it all up. I guess you never outgrow lactose intolerance. FML
Today, I bought a large ice cream cake. No, there's no occasion, but I did ask the cashier to write "Happy Birthday" on it, just so she wouldn't know I was going to eat it all myself. FML
Today, after my parent's forgot my 16th birthday, then rescheduled for two weeks later and forgot, fast forward to my 36th. My father, my husband, and my teen kids all forgot. I was told to relax and that they would make a cake, etc. No cake was made. Mom got me a food gift that I'm allergic to. It's been a few days. Forgotten again. FML
Today, my mother turned up drunk at my house with a chocolate cake for my 14th birthday. I'm 27, I haven’t seen her in 6 years, I'm allergic to chocolate, and when she saw that I had 2 kids, she wanted to know why I'd bothered, since kids are always "such a disappointment". FML
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Top comments
DahkLohd 4
Maybe after 23 years, they just hate you.
lovelove24 1
yea it's the thought that counts. and obviously, they didn't put in any thought.
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Comments (44)
bad_chiquita 5
You know, there are pills for dealing with lactose intolerance so you can have your cake and eat it too.
lauren222 1
"Mint Chocolate Chip!"
fester420 2
90% of people who think they are lactose intolerant aren't.
wcstcomic 0
And which random statistics generator did you use for this little fact?
rlTlk 13
I think people can tell they're lactose intolerant when milk products make them sick.. whose even a Dr. to say they aren't, Dr.s can't experience how they feel for themselves. Allergy testing is actually really unreliable, a lot of Dr.s are abandoning traditional tests and are saying the only real way to know is to expose a person and see how they react.
kay71095 9
I have it.. And that's a fact.. I had to go on formula that was lactose free when I was a baby because it was so severe
homesickabortion 2
yeah, you'd think that, but they dont. after 22 years, my dad cant remember i hate cheese on my burgers, even excluding the fact that i too am lactose intolerant. >.
oshtfml89 0
hey wassup
MegamiKaosu 28
soy ice-cream? ;D probably not sorry some(most) parents are like that
scubaSt3v3 0
Happy birthday here's a ride to the hospital :)
kay71095 9
You don't go to the hospital for being lactose intolerant.. It just gives you a horrible stomach ache.. I have it
ckilla421 0
They did that on purpose. You and I both know that.
283leis 8
I don't know how so many people think you deserve it. You can't control what you're allergic too and your parents probably just wanted an excuse to have an ice cream cake so they used your birthday and were only thinking of themselves and not you. Your life truly does suck.
thefmlman2011 37
I'm lactose intolerance aswell, I manage ice cream like a piece of caje