Today, my parents brought me an ice cream birthday cake. I would think after 23 years they would remember my lactose intolerance. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I turned 18. My parents remembered that I loved German chocolate cake, so I awoke to a hot, fudge-filled chocolate cake with a slice cut out just for me. I've been lactose-intolerant for 8 years. As I cried, my mom handed me tissues, while eating the "Happy" part of my cake. FML
Today, my mom told me she is serving lasagna and Italian cream cake at my bridal shower. I'm severely lactose intolerant, which I have been telling her for years. She responded by telling me, and I quote, "The food is for the guests." FML
Today, it was my birthday. My only birthday present was a cake that my dad bought from Walmart. Well, it sure looked tasty. The only problem: it had nuts on it. Guess what I'm highly allergic too? At least my dad told me he'd "tell me how it tastes." FML
Today, I ordered a beer with my parents at dinner. The waitress said, "Oh, happy 22nd birthday." My parents eyes got really big, and they started to blush. They'd forgotten it was my birthday. FML
Today, it's my 21st birthday. My parents' gift was a case of non-alcoholic beer, to "prepare" me for when I "turn 21." My parents can't even remember how old I am. FML
Today, my parents threw out the beautiful birthday cake my aunt made me, and served celery sticks at my party because I need to "watch my weight." FML
Today, I had pizza for lunch, a cheesy burrito and cheese rice for dinner, topped off with a big bowl of ice cream. Three hours later, I puked it all up. I guess you never outgrow lactose intolerance. FML
Today, I bought a large ice cream cake. No, there's no occasion, but I did ask the cashier to write "Happy Birthday" on it, just so she wouldn't know I was going to eat it all myself. FML
Today, after my parent's forgot my 16th birthday, then rescheduled for two weeks later and forgot, fast forward to my 36th. My father, my husband, and my teen kids all forgot. I was told to relax and that they would make a cake, etc. No cake was made. Mom got me a food gift that I'm allergic to. It's been a few days. Forgotten again. FML
Today, my mother turned up drunk at my house with a chocolate cake for my 14th birthday. I'm 27, I haven’t seen her in 6 years, I'm allergic to chocolate, and when she saw that I had 2 kids, she wanted to know why I'd bothered, since kids are always "such a disappointment". FML
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Top comments
DahkLohd 4
Maybe after 23 years, they just hate you.
lovelove24 1
yea it's the thought that counts. and obviously, they didn't put in any thought.
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Comments (44)
wcstcomic 0
OP is a selfish bitch? How dare they expect a cake that they can actually eat for their birthday? Surely it is pure selfish hatred that makes them want a dairy-free, or at least a dairy-reduced cake. You sound like you will make a terrible parent, IMHO.
llamatrauma 5
was this in response to me? google: irony
docscientist 10
Clearly, just because you can google irony, doesn't mean you understand irony.
wcstcomic 0
Yup, I'm new to this, so I forgot to click "reply". Apparently you're new to the English language and forgot to look up the word "irony".
kyarii_fml 7
Not to be a "Know it All" but being one who is severely lactose intolerant. I can't even eat many breads (for those who made the bread comments). Bread does contain small traces usually noneffective for most lactose intolerant people. Also those "magic pills" don't work for me either. So OP I know the feeling. My family enjoys heavy milk and lactose based foods which I fight through most of it... But generally do not get to enjoy.
Michigan_Girl 0
I didn't say for the OP to eat bread...I said for him/her to buy their parents a loaf of bread for their birthday's. I think you misread my post =/
Lito127 0
That happens to me all the ******* time! My parents would go to Carvel & get me this big ass sundae or whatever meanwhile I'm lactose-intolerant & would suffer in the bathroom for a day if I had it! I can't tell if they think of me while not home or they want me suffering ? lol uqh -.-
ChrisLF82 0
how many of these "ice cream cake but I'm lactose intolerant" FML's are gonna get posted???
DethbyFML 0
it is the thought that counts you inconsiderate P.O.S.
TallMist 32
Have you read the above comments? It's been said many times before, and it's still true, there was obviously no thought given when they got the OP their cake.
Limetonic 1
take a pill? big deal...
wwerulez14 6
The pills don't work for everyone. Luckily, they work for me. But some of the less fortunate ones actually have to go without dairy products all together, since the pill doesn't work for some reason.
kay71095 9
They don't work for me at all
lovebugbaby125 0
ok. Lemme get this straight...your 23 yrs old and still mommy and daddy buy u birthday cakes? do u not have a life?!
dunicha 20
I'm 30, married, have my own kids, job, friends, and, yes, life, and my parents still get me a cake if we get together for my birthday.
wcstcomic 0
It's called having a loving relationship with your parents and coming over to their house for your birthday. Nowhere did the OP say they were still living with them. And even then, at 23, it's not a big deal, like if they're still at school, or are just getting on their feet with their career. No need to be so angry and judgmental.
ckjacques53198 0
there is no such thing as being lactose intolerant
Sparx1_1 16
You are a moron 59 The ability to tolerate lactose is actually caused by a genetic mutation and there are more people who are intolerant of lactose than people who can deal with it.
AcrylicDisaster 0
Drinking milk is unnatural after childhood, more so drinking the milk of another species. But I suspect you weren't being serious, 59.
eog314 0
same as another fml...
relyo 0
The cake is a lie.