Today, my nose was itchy. As I reached towards it to itch it, I sneezed ridiculously hard. I punched myself in the eye and now it's all purple and puffy. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, due to my short temper, I punched myself in the nose because I wouldn't stop sneezing. FML
Today, I reached to pick out a booger stuck in my nose that had been irritating me, and ended up poking myself in the eye. FML
Today, I was picking my nose so aggressively that I flicked a booger right into my eye. FML
Today, I sneezed so hard that I hit my head against the wall. FML
Today, there was something itching me in my bed, it was the tag to my pillow case. I ripped it off, very hard and slipped and punched myself right in the face. I broke my nose. FML
Today, I had a cold and was vomiting. I sneezed really hard, smacking my nose onto the toilet seat. I woke up a few minutes later with my nose bleeding, painful, and still stuffy. FML
Today, I would like to say I pinched a nerve throwing punches, but no, I did it by sneezing. FML
Today, I sneezed so hard I fell down the stairs. FML
Today, I kneeled down to tie my shoe and sneezed, nailing my face onto my knee and breaking my nose. FML
Today, I sneezed so hard during a meeting that my glasses flew off and hit my boss in the face. Now everyone keeps jokingly ducking every time I look their way. FML
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Top comments
Violet_Illuser 0
Ouch... This is why I turn my face away from everything, including myself, when I sneeze.
xXmoses_rocksXx 0
Honestly, that really just sucks and I hope you feel better, but I haven't laughed this hard in a while. Sorry OP.
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Comments (112)
ditzykayla 0
Well usually when you sneeze your head goes down, so I'm guessing that when he attempted to scratch his nose his head went down, resulting in the puffy eye. Wow that must have been a huge sneeze o.O
iluvtwilight 0
OMFG that's SOOO hilarious!!! thanks for making my day :-D
Dip_Fartson 0
YDI for trying to "itch" it. *thumbs up*
sedthsret 0
it ******* bothers me when people say "itch" when they mean "scratch", YDI, b/c u bothered me.
My_averageFML 0
I agree with the people talking about your grammer issues, but either way I found it hilarious that you punched yourself while sneezing.
tehredbaran 0
You shouldn't be talking about "grammer" issues when you can't even spell "grammar." Go back to school.
rafaelaugusto94 0
hahaha... number 75 it right .... sorry b/c of my grammar my english its a little rusty
Twin_Uzis 0
If your nose itched, why make the itch worse? Why not scratch it instead?
upyoursmo 0
you deserved it, just for saying "itch it." you can't ITCH something. it's not a verb. you SCRATCH something because it's ITCHY. get your grammar right.
lolredranger 0
to everyone saying 'to itch' is not a verb, i'd suggest you look it up. if you're too lazy, here's what the dictionary has to say: "3. Informal. to scratch a part that itches." it's a valid form of speech. deal with it.
Intoxicunt 6
So is "bootylicious", but it's still not proper, respectable English. So many people made a vocabulary mistake, so it just got added as "informal". We still have reason to look down upon the use of it.
fili450r 0
omg, thank you so very much, this just absolutely made my day...sorry that does suck, i have rolled over and had my hand there and poked myself in the eye multiple times...so i know where your coming from, but that totaly just made my day.
Night22_fml 4
Makes me think of the spongebob episode when the gets the black eye from toothpaste