Today, my nose was itchy. As I reached towards it to itch it, I sneezed ridiculously hard. I punched myself in the eye and now it's all purple and puffy. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, due to my short temper, I punched myself in the nose because I wouldn't stop sneezing. FML
Today, I reached to pick out a booger stuck in my nose that had been irritating me, and ended up poking myself in the eye. FML
Today, I was picking my nose so aggressively that I flicked a booger right into my eye. FML
Today, I sneezed so hard that I hit my head against the wall. FML
Today, there was something itching me in my bed, it was the tag to my pillow case. I ripped it off, very hard and slipped and punched myself right in the face. I broke my nose. FML
Today, I had a cold and was vomiting. I sneezed really hard, smacking my nose onto the toilet seat. I woke up a few minutes later with my nose bleeding, painful, and still stuffy. FML
Today, I would like to say I pinched a nerve throwing punches, but no, I did it by sneezing. FML
Today, I sneezed so hard I fell down the stairs. FML
Today, I kneeled down to tie my shoe and sneezed, nailing my face onto my knee and breaking my nose. FML
Today, I sneezed so hard during a meeting that my glasses flew off and hit my boss in the face. Now everyone keeps jokingly ducking every time I look their way. FML
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Top comments
Violet_Illuser 0
Ouch... This is why I turn my face away from everything, including myself, when I sneeze.
xXmoses_rocksXx 0
Honestly, that really just sucks and I hope you feel better, but I haven't laughed this hard in a while. Sorry OP.
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Comments (112)
xSceneSceneBabyx 0
aww! that's terrible! I gave myself a black eye once. I was maybe about 5 or 6 and it was summer time. I went swimming then came inside to find my sister (7-8yrs old) wanting to chase someone. I ran into my room (we shared a room), slipping on my towel and, just below my eye, I hit the door knob. I had student/teacher night at my school a few days later and every one thought I got hit.
Pastor_Rich 0
couldn't you feel a sneeze coming on?YDI.. cyclops
AshleyRose784 0
ouch, no fun
alexzhou04 0
Funny. First laughof the day
iTunesAddict 0
You don't "itch" it. The nose itches. How you remedy it? By scratching. So the way you phrased it, you made the nose itch. So YDI. (I swear I'm not a troll. That was a JOKE. But it does piss me off when people say "itch" like that.)
Shaiath 0
He's right though...the you scratch a nose not itch.
ifzombiesattack 0
#29, They used parenthesis, not brackets. So you fail.
Dillybar 0
They're parenthesis in the English language. It doesn't matter where you are in the world. You were taught wrong.
ifzombiesattack 0
So because you're not punctually correct, I'm an inbred? Nice logic. I applaud you.
iTunesAddict 0
I piss you off, for correcting someone's grammar? Don't care. And they are parenthesis. Just because it's different wherever the hell you come from, doesn't give you the right to criticize me for it. And I'm a she, thank you very much. :)
Escapist28 0
Since you guys seem so wound up about grammar and spelling, I think I should inform you that "parenthesis" is singular.
Intoxicunt 6
I agree with the original point here about scratching a nose, not itching it. But I really laughed about #93. That was pretty good.
youlose_ 0
did your nose died?
lover_of_life 8
LOL, this was funnier than I thought. I remember,when I was little, I was tying my shoe and sneezed. My nose hit my knee and I started bleeding. that didn't seem funny then , but it does now.
tardfaces 0
Itch is not a verb. You can scratch an itch, but you cannot itch an itch.
MsSippi 0
ah I'm with you. This is one of my biggest pet peeves. ITCH IS NOT A VERB. ahhh. Drives me freaking crazy.
Intoxicunt 6
"Itch" is a verb. Example: "My nose itches." Verb. But you're right, it was used incorrectly.
jeannicole 0
YDI for saying "itch" instead of "scratch." :|
Syn_fml 0
I completely agree.
Imawhalerider 0
stop hitting your self (put some pepper in his face) hes gonna get knocked out