By Busty

These jugs don't belong here...

Today, Walmart was out of quart milk jugs except for one. When I went to grab it, I had to practically climb into the fridge. My boobs got stuck on the shelf on the way out, and it took a solid two minutes to wiggle my way free. I had an audience. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5534

You deserved it

964

Tweet

Share

A teenage dream's so hard to beat…

Left behind

The one with the asshole friend

By Asteria

Today, my dryer was finally repaired after not working for over a month. I did one load of laundry and my washer stopped working. Another day, another $400+ repair bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2562

You deserved it

152

Tweet

Share

By Miguel Ezpeleta - 29/5/2020 05:00

Never get involved

Today, I was working for my cousin. However, two weeks ago I found out my cousin's wife was cheating on him, through lying to her best friend. I told him, and he later told her. They've apparently made up, because I got fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1399

You deserved it

181

Tweet

Share

By sad guy - United States

Today, a huge and angry man stormed into my work and threatened to kill me if I didn't stop sleeping with his wife. He then threatened to come back and kick my ass if I so much as texted his wife again. The problem is, I'm married, have never cheated and I work for my wife's father. FML

I agree, your life sucks

58196

You deserved it

3095

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Germany - Munich

Today, after finally finishing a huge internal rebranding project at work, which I've poured blood, sweat and tears into over the last 12 months, I found out we're being acquired by another company and that our new brand will no longer exist. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34012

You deserved it

2507

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I broke my right leg. I've had one shot of morphine, and even that only relieved the pain a little. It's now totally worn off and I have yet to get pain medication of any kind. My leg has been broken for over nine hours now. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31885

You deserved it

4129

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Canada - Calgary

Today, I discovered that one of our cats is super creepy. He humps the blankets on my mother's bed while staring at her while she's sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41752

You deserved it

3646

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 4/10/2020 20:01 - Germany - Hörth

No justice

Today, my ex-boss still owes me almost 900€. I just paid another 150€ to have a lawyer tell me that, yes, the law is clearly on my side but no, I will most likely not win in court because I don't have hard proof. I just paid money to be told I won't be getting the money I'm owed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1211

You deserved it

119

Tweet

Share

By Melie-Melo - United Kingdom

Today, after repairing the toilet, the light, the shower, the cooker and the heater in the flat I've just moved into, my boiler dies. It's mid December, about 1 degree outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26030

You deserved it

2151

Tweet

Share

By "Audrey Harmon"

Today, my sister tackled me by the leg in a game of frisbee. I now know the unique sensation of a knee dislocating. It is not a beautiful one. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4329

You deserved it

258

Tweet

Share

By Username - United States

Today, my family went to Seaworld. When we got there, my dad sarcastically told me not to get lost, because I might get mistaken for Shamu. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41107

You deserved it

7928

Tweet

Share

By Monkey - United States

Today, my mom called me from jail. She was arrested for having sex in public. I was with my dad when I got the call. FML

I agree, your life sucks

55235

You deserved it

3002

Tweet

Share

By kayla53 - United States - Elmer

Today, my boyfriend posted pictures of him at the bar last night with his ex. And ones of them in her bed this morning. I guess we're sleeping with other people? FML

I agree, your life sucks

30012

You deserved it

2120

Tweet

Share

By ilovesocks - United States

Today, I was hooking up with a guy I just met. Things were getting hot and heavy and he asked me if I had a condom. I said no, and to which he replied "that's okay, we can just use a sock" and pulled his sock off of his left foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31694

You deserved it

6394

Tweet

Share

By kandi - Philippines

Today, while at the bakeshop, I got bored waiting in line so I decided to sit on the glass case protecting cupcakes. Turns out there was no glass. I had to pay $50 to cover all the mess and had to walk out of the bakeshop with icing all over my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13383

You deserved it

79506

Tweet

Share

By Buzz - France

Today, my husband invited his boss and his wife to dinner. During the meal, I tasted the wine and apologised for its bad quality, somewhat annoyed: "Dont drink that, I'll go and look for another bottle." Unfortunately, it was our guests who had brought the wine in question. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26959

You deserved it

10894

Tweet

Share

By he's not the one going to hell - Australia

You're going to hell

Today, some assface hacked my recently deceased friend's Facebook account. The person changed my friend's location to "Hell", then posted a status saying how hot the weather was, and replied "I wish :'(" to someone who'd said my friend was in a better place now. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48809

You deserved it

3388

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I lost my job because I was doing my work too quickly, getting too much done and the supervisor was afraid I was bored. I have only been here for 3 weeks and already had the best stats on the team. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34705

You deserved it

2364

Tweet

Share

By me - Bulgaria

Today, my roommate asked me to lock the door as we left our place. I told her to use my keys, because my hands were full. Afterwards, she and her boyfriend set off out of town for the next couple of days. She forgot to give me back my keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26987

You deserved it

5605

Tweet

Share

By FailedSalesman - United States - Lewisville

Today, I was working at our garage sale with my dad. I sat outside for 2 hours, talked to three people, and sold nothing. My dad came outside and got angry at me, so I told him to give it a shot. He sold 3 things to the first guy who walked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6947

You deserved it

1002

Tweet

Share

By nyaahaha - United States

Today, my daughter turned Emo. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54038

You deserved it

20653

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 30/7/2020 17:01

Workaholic

Today, after finally finding the one after so many heartbreaks, he’s leaving me because things are actually too good. He says having me around distracts him too much from work, and spends too much time with me instead of working weekends on top of working all week. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1901

You deserved it

128

Tweet

Share

By Huge A Hole - United States

Today, a girl I've had a huge crush on for a long time told another friend of ours to get a life. I, in my infinite genius responded that her mom needed to get a life. She ran out of the room bawling. I got slapped in the face and informed that her mom had died not long ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12643

You deserved it

39237

Tweet

Share

By Parental Support - United States - Ellicott City

Today, I found out I was 13th in a graduating class of about 350 students. When I told my mother, without batting an eye, she told me, "Hey, shit floats". FML

I agree, your life sucks

43523

You deserved it

2968

Tweet

Share

By bobo - Canada

Today, I played Angry Birds for two hours. I got so into the game, I failed to remember that I was sitting on a public toilet. I only realized this when the janitor came to check on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13038

You deserved it

52826

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United Kingdom - London

Today, I had to stand in line for twenty minutes at the bank, in between two of my ex-boyfriends. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52395

You deserved it

11340

Tweet

Share

By still single - Brazil - Santa Maria

Today, it was still easier for me to get an engineering PhD than it is to get a girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24597

You deserved it

3004

Tweet

Share

By Jota

Today, I was doing a job interview on Skype when my roommate decided to reboot the wireless router because "the internet was too slow". The interviewer didn't bother calling again. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4171

You deserved it

352

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 18/1/2021 23:01

Supportive

Today, I caught up with a good friend and he let me rant about my sexless marriage. He was really understanding and supportive. I got home and he sent me 5 pictures of his wife in a small bikini, saying, “Guess who doesn’t have your problems?” FML

I agree, your life sucks

1245

You deserved it

281

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Moreland

Today, my future mother-in-law told me she thought I was severely allergic to cigarette smoke. That hasn't stopped her from chain-smoking around me for the last 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24596

You deserved it

2058

Tweet

Share

By bill - United States - Pasadena

Today, I saw a man lying face down in a field and thinking he was injured, I ran over to help. As soon as I got to him, I realized he was completely naked. He stood up and chased after me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29913

You deserved it

2657

Tweet

Share

By twingirl - United States

Today, my grandma went to get birthday gifts for my twin sister and me. She returned with 2 shirts that read "I see you've met the twins" in big letters across the chest. She gave them to us and said, "Isn't this cute? 'cause you're twins!" I then had to explain to her what the shirt was actually referring to. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51691

You deserved it

4137

Tweet

Share

By Ohgodithurts - 19/10/2020 11:00

Roommates from hell, part 4874

Today, I got a second degree sunburn everywhere above my waist, for which I've been using a medicated lotion. My roommate "pranked" me by switching the lotion with a similarly colored, very caustic acne wash. My chest feels like it's roasting in hell and is oozing pus and oil now. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1405

You deserved it

131

Tweet

Share

By roadbikemama - United States

Today, I was cooking. I leaned over the stove to preheat the oven, and burned my nipple on a pot of boiling water. I also have a teething son who is breastfeeding. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43178

You deserved it

11089

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend started to plan our wedding. We've been going out for 3 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46440

You deserved it

5418

Tweet

Share

By CrazyInLove - United States - Castle Rock

Today, I overcame my lack of social confidence and got a date for the first time in 10 or so years. After a while, my date admitted that she's a schizophrenic with dissociative identity disorder. I guess it's back to being single. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30295

You deserved it

7302

Tweet

Share

By arthise - United States - Evansville

Today, my boyfriend won a diamond engagement ring through a citywide competition. Instead of proposing to me, he's selling it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49931

You deserved it

17136

Tweet

Share

By tallvet

Today, I told my wife to not drive our car as it has a steering problem and is starting to shake. I got home from work to see it had a flat tire, and asked her if she went anywhere. She'd thought I was exaggerating and went out for coffee. I've been a mechanic for 7 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3866

You deserved it

281

Tweet

Share

By porcelainleigh - United States

Today, I got engaged. I called my mom and told her. "You didn't say yes, did you?" she said. Afterwards, I told my dad. "Uh, Congratulations. But, I have questions." Thanks guys. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9433

You deserved it

1048

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I noticed that someone smeared "wash me" into the grime of my car. I decided to take it to get a wash. I pulled up, put my vehicle in neutral, and kicked back as it slowly started to move. You never realize how long it takes a sun roof to close until water is dumping on your head. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15752

You deserved it

60858

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 30/7/2020 20:01

Toxic parents

Today, my mom caught me vaping weed oil and tried to ground me. I’m 33 years old, with my own wife and kids, weed is legal in this state with a medical card, and I use it to treat the seizures I’ve had since mom belted me around the head as a kid, giving me brain damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2887

You deserved it

207

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By t_rosie | 7

#7566275 - Tuesday 21 November 2017 6:36

Quite the booby trap....

By Little Richard | 10

#7566286 - Tuesday 21 November 2017 7:26

I can't wait to see the pics, on the people of Wal-Mart website.

COMMENTS

By Akitakat | 31

#7566272 - Tuesday 21 November 2017 6:22

Watch it wiggle... see it jiggle... sprinkles so fruity... lotsa whipped cream topped with cherry...

By Akitakat | 31

#7566274 - Tuesday 21 November 2017 6:28

A man walks up to a Walmart employee, as he points at you as & says “ Excuse me mom, could you tell me how much she sells for & if you have any more in stock? This one is mine but my friends want to share one for themselves. ”

By t_rosie | 7

#7566275 - Tuesday 21 November 2017 6:36

Quite the booby trap....

By Lobby_Bee | 17

#7566278 - Tuesday 21 November 2017 7:12

Big udders, big rudders. 10/10 would watch.

By Little Richard | 10

#7566286 - Tuesday 21 November 2017 7:26

I can't wait to see the pics, on the people of Wal-Mart website.

By RichardPencil | 30

#7566293 - Tuesday 21 November 2017 7:40

Stuck on the shelf holding quart jugs? Nice, ... very nice!

Although some say that more than a cup is a waste!

By TheAngelLikeGirlGamer23 | 7

#7566297 - Tuesday 21 November 2017 7:50

Oh lord??

By Leaynax | 13

#7566298 - Tuesday 21 November 2017 7:54

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

By Glowworm56 | 25

#7566394 - Tuesday 21 November 2017 14:03

Maybe you should have asked for help next time.

Reply

Rabite | 28

#7566402 - Tuesday 21 November 2017 14:28

Yeah, totally weird that she didn't ask for a thin person without boobs to get her something out of a fridge, although it's so very common to get stuck with your boobs while shopping. Happens to me all the time.

Reply

Glowworm56 | 25

#7566475 - Tuesday 21 November 2017 18:46

I meant for climbing into the fridge to get the obviously very high milk jug--not getting her unstuck.

Reply

Rabite | 28

#7566843 - Wednesday 22 November 2017 15:56

That's what my answer was for. So maybe I put it in other words.

Why would you ask someone to help you with something you are totally capable of? Only because some very unlikely stupid stuff could happen?
It would even be more reasonable to ask someone to help you after the mishap happened.

By manb91uk | 22

#7566412 - Tuesday 21 November 2017 15:21

That’s the breast story I’ve hears all day