Today, my mother woke me up by saying "Good morning my sexually aggressive daughter. We're going to have an extremely uncomfortable conversation today." Our awkward talk consisted of her telling me that I'm a tease and am going to get raped. Why? She caught me making out with my boyfriend. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML
Today, I was in my bedroom with my boyfriend and we were kissing. My mom then came into my room and started shouting at my boyfriend for cheating on her. FML
Today, I was having the "sex talk" with my mom because I really want to have sex with my boyfriend. My dad overheard us and is sulking. The only reason he hasn’t said anything like, “I’ll kill the boy” or, “Not until you’re married” is because he’s scared of my mom. Now everything is awkward at home FML
Today, I was hitting on a girl, and I was sure I could get her to sleep with me. When she finally gave in and was putting her number into my phone, she called my mom and asked her if she raised me to "sexually harass women." FML
Today, my mother worked out that my boyfriend and I are having sex. Instead of confronting me about it, she now just sits and stares at me judgmentally whenever I'm in the same room as her, making me feel incredibly uncomfortable. FML
Today, I’m 20 and my mom is well aware I’m having sex. Nonetheless, this morning when my boyfriend was going down on me under the covers, she marched into my room without knocking, dumped a load of wet laundry on my sofa, and walked back out. FML
Today, I received a 4-page text message from my mom explaining what she was going to do to me tonight, in full detail. I'm one name below her boyfriend on her contact list. FML
Today, my mother, who thinks I'm a virgin, called me while I was having sex with my boyfriend. I have to answer every time she calls or she freaks out. I ended the conversation quickly and hung up. Or so I thought. She listened in to the rest of our 20-minute lovemaking session, and I have some explaining to do. FML
Today, my dad gave me the dreaded sex talk, but he got sidetracked and started talking about how good my mum was in bed. FML
Today, I had to listen to my mom give a detailed description of her date last night to her friends via speakerphone... while I was trapped in the car with her. When I pointed out that I was still in the back seat, she scoffed and told me, "I have a sex life, deal with it." FML
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Top comments
deliciouskaek 1
That's not okay. That is seriously NOT okay. Verbal abuse, FTL.
spiffles 0
I'm pretty sure that making out does not = slutty.
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Comments (253)
likeanoutlawbayb 0
omg thats hilarious and i will use this on friends and maybe future children
_DumbAZz_ 0
Mothers. Don't you love 'em?
pancakefreak 0
seriously, my mother has had the same conversation with me. in public places. i have never even kissed a guy.
Teribahl 0
omfg i love your mother. that is so funny
missmorningstar 0
Haha, that's unfortunate.... Your mom is insane.
kellster 2
Sounds like someone's a **** tease!
alexgisforme3 0
there is NOTHING funny about that. your mom is ******* insane. theres NOTHING wrong with kissing your boyfriend. MY GOD. if ur moms gonna be around just go somewhere else...lol.
thedrumsthedrums 0
lol maybe she's kidding? It sounds funny from the way she greeted you. If not.. I feel sorry for you.
silly_kate 0
shit! you're mum lives under a rock!! it's like 'hey ma, it's the 21st century! get the **** over it!!!'
WTFIWWP 0
must have happened to her