Today, my mother woke me up by saying "Good morning my sexually aggressive daughter. We're going to have an extremely uncomfortable conversation today." Our awkward talk consisted of her telling me that I'm a tease and am going to get raped. Why? She caught me making out with my boyfriend. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML
Today, I was in my bedroom with my boyfriend and we were kissing. My mom then came into my room and started shouting at my boyfriend for cheating on her. FML
Today, I was having the "sex talk" with my mom because I really want to have sex with my boyfriend. My dad overheard us and is sulking. The only reason he hasn’t said anything like, “I’ll kill the boy” or, “Not until you’re married” is because he’s scared of my mom. Now everything is awkward at home FML
Today, I was hitting on a girl, and I was sure I could get her to sleep with me. When she finally gave in and was putting her number into my phone, she called my mom and asked her if she raised me to "sexually harass women." FML
Today, my mother worked out that my boyfriend and I are having sex. Instead of confronting me about it, she now just sits and stares at me judgmentally whenever I'm in the same room as her, making me feel incredibly uncomfortable. FML
Today, I’m 20 and my mom is well aware I’m having sex. Nonetheless, this morning when my boyfriend was going down on me under the covers, she marched into my room without knocking, dumped a load of wet laundry on my sofa, and walked back out. FML
Today, I received a 4-page text message from my mom explaining what she was going to do to me tonight, in full detail. I'm one name below her boyfriend on her contact list. FML
Today, my mother, who thinks I'm a virgin, called me while I was having sex with my boyfriend. I have to answer every time she calls or she freaks out. I ended the conversation quickly and hung up. Or so I thought. She listened in to the rest of our 20-minute lovemaking session, and I have some explaining to do. FML
Today, my dad gave me the dreaded sex talk, but he got sidetracked and started talking about how good my mum was in bed. FML
Today, I had to listen to my mom give a detailed description of her date last night to her friends via speakerphone... while I was trapped in the car with her. When I pointed out that I was still in the back seat, she scoffed and told me, "I have a sex life, deal with it." FML
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Top comments
deliciouskaek 1
That's not okay. That is seriously NOT okay. Verbal abuse, FTL.
spiffles 0
I'm pretty sure that making out does not = slutty.
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Comments (253)
DemonicAngel151 0
How old are you? If I may ask
xTIGERxLILYx 0
Good question. If I were the OP, I call social services, and/or move out far away from that psycho of a "mother"
AyCuidado 0
FYL for having such a crazy mother... >_>
shirvon100 0
wel u really shouldnt tease ppl
jeff_boles 12
That comment was not good. You should not have posted it! Your spelling was terrible, you missed the context of the post, and your comment had no real objective. Just do better next time! Pay attention to the post and please, for love of English, spell words correctly.
Horurerukul 0
... wow FYL
crazy_cat_lady24 0
Oh... my... god... your mom's batshit insane. D:
Siren_00 0
Haha that's an awesome way to introduce the discussion. I'm so doing that to my future kids.
drinkupgorgeous 0
"YOU'RE GOING TO HELL YOU HEATHEN." I bet your mom screams that to random passerby on the street, huh? FYL. Making out is no big deal. At least it wasn't kinky sex.
heyyou1203 0
what's wrong with kinky sex?? some people like it rough, some people like it gentle.
Bryony 0
I think the point was, most people would rather have their mom walk in on them making out with someone than have their mom walk in on them have bondage sex...degrees of awkward, no?
ilovetaylor 0
Well I think your mom is way too overprotective. Unless your like 12 or something younger. Which i doubt. But she will stop sooner or later. They all do.
Raeser 7
So what if she's 12? Not that age matters, parents have no right to involve themselves in your sexlife. Just stand up for yourself and make out/get laid with thoever you want, it's your call.
jeff_boles 12
#248 I am guessing you are also 12 years old. I will tell you why it matters if the parents let them have sex. Because at that age, children are too young to understand the physical and emotional responsibilities that come with sex and intimacy, which is why it is up to the parent to inform them. More twelve-year-olds having sex means more STD's, teen pregnancy, and pain.
jeff_boles 12
#248 The parents have no right? Yes they do. The child is a minor and is supposed to be protected and taught by the parents. Don't be so naive.
mcsnelly 5
Wow that's really crappy! Your mom has problems...I mean, making out with your BOYFRIEND doesn't make you a tease or a ****. And whether you're a tease or not has nothing to do with getting raped. That's like saying someone deserves to get raped because she was dressed sexy, too. ABSOLUTELY NOT!!
seracy13 0
I completely agree!
nprugby11 0
FMLs like this leave far too much to the imagination...either the mother is the female version of Ned Flanders or there's more to the makeout session...like gratuitous amounts of dry humping and fondling. Who knows.
morglyt 0
haha. female version of ned flanders...that's rich.