Today, my mother woke me up by saying "Good morning my sexually aggressive daughter. We're going to have an extremely uncomfortable conversation today." Our awkward talk consisted of her telling me that I'm a tease and am going to get raped. Why? She caught me making out with my boyfriend. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Same thing different taste
Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML
Today, I was in my bedroom with my boyfriend and we were kissing. My mom then came into my room and started shouting at my boyfriend for cheating on her. FML
The birds and the bees
Today, I was having the "sex talk" with my mom because I really want to have sex with my boyfriend. My dad overheard us and is sulking. The only reason he hasn’t said anything like, “I’ll kill the boy” or, “Not until you’re married” is because he’s scared of my mom. Now everything is awkward at home FML
Tactical nuke
Today, I was hitting on a girl, and I was sure I could get her to sleep with me. When she finally gave in and was putting her number into my phone, she called my mom and asked her if she raised me to "sexually harass women." FML
Judgy
Today, my mother worked out that my boyfriend and I are having sex. Instead of confronting me about it, she now just sits and stares at me judgmentally whenever I'm in the same room as her, making me feel incredibly uncomfortable. FML
Privacy
Today, I’m 20 and my mom is well aware I’m having sex. Nonetheless, this morning when my boyfriend was going down on me under the covers, she marched into my room without knocking, dumped a load of wet laundry on my sofa, and walked back out. FML
Eyebleach
Today, I received a 4-page text message from my mom explaining what she was going to do to me tonight, in full detail. I'm one name below her boyfriend on her contact list. FML
Overbearing parents are the worst
Today, my mother, who thinks I'm a virgin, called me while I was having sex with my boyfriend. I have to answer every time she calls or she freaks out. I ended the conversation quickly and hung up. Or so I thought. She listened in to the rest of our 20-minute lovemaking session, and I have some explaining to do. FML
Don't wanna know
Today, my dad gave me the dreaded sex talk, but he got sidetracked and started talking about how good my mum was in bed. FML
Make it stop, please
Today, I had to listen to my mom give a detailed description of her date last night to her friends via speakerphone... while I was trapped in the car with her. When I pointed out that I was still in the back seat, she scoffed and told me, "I have a sex life, deal with it." FML
Top comments
deliciouskaek 1
That's not okay. That is seriously NOT okay. Verbal abuse, FTL.
spiffles 0
I'm pretty sure that making out does not = slutty.
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Comments (253)
Pwibble 2
Your mum is stupid, is what. (And so are a lot of people posting here). Listen up: ALL PSYCHOLOGICAL STUDIES DONE ON RAPE SHOW UNEQUIVOCALLY THAT RAPE IS ABOUT POWER, CONTROL, AND ANGER. IT IS NOT ABOUT LUST. YOU ARE NO MORE LIKELY TO GET RAPED IF YOU ARE PRETTY, YOUNG, OLD, UGLY, MODEST, SCANTILY CLAD, ETC. THE YOUNGEST PERSON TO GET RAPED WAS UNDER A YEAR OLD, THE OLDEST WAS EIGHTY-SOMETHING. MAYBE THE OLD WOMAN WAS WEARING A PROVOCATIVE GRANNY SHAWL, HUH? DON'T YOU DARE INSULT WOMEN (AND THE MEN WHO GET RAPED TOO) BY SUGGESTING THEY DESERVE OR ASKED TO BE RAPED. IF RAPE WAS ABOUT BEING "A TEASE" WHY IS IT SO COMMON IN COUNTRIES WHERE WOMEN HAVE TO WEAR A BURQUA? PS. You could also say that going out and getting drunk leaves you more vulnerable. This is true. But also beside the point really, because almost all sexual abuse is perpetrated by someone the victim knows.
Urisma 0
You win 1000 internets for referencing the fact that men are also raped
apastry 6
OP, if you are reading this, your mother needs to read this comment.
SomeonePosting 0
Not a fan of ALL CAPS, but you still win.
epicfail13337 4
You're very right number 32. To OP, your mom must be super conservative/screwed up/dumb. Making out with a boyfriend is normal. This is so sad...
lovemyfml 0
I think it's more common for women to get raped. I'm not saying this to be sexist or to insult men, but to rape a man, you would probably need a special date rape drug that allows him to be aroused while unsonscious. I only say this because (usually) if a guy isn't into it at least a little bit, than hsi parts won't work...
oogyboogy 6
She's not stupid how was anyone supossed to know that I'm sure not many people know that you would think lust is the number one reason for rape it's sounds like common sense
Pwibble 2
I KNOW I SH... er... shouldn't have. Ahhh, that caps lock button. I'm only allowed to use it twice per month.
Pwibble 2
#79 You could still force a man to have anal or oral sex with you, but yes, rapes against men are less common, you're right. The statistics are: 1 in 6 women and 1 in 33 men will be sexually assaulted in their lifetimes [Rainn.org]. #82 Not entirely, when you consider that when people are raped they are very often also badly injured. But you are right, I should have said "ignorant" not "stupid", they're not the same thing. I guess her mum's generation would not have been spoken to about this in school etc. Mine was... but back in her day there was a lot of misinformation and the whole thing was a taboo subject.
harlehatschi 0
#32's comment is made of win. I also forgive the excessive use of caps because it got my attention while I was scrolling
heyyou1203 0
100% agreed. And to go off of that, it's not just power and control, but access to women's bodies, too. I'd go as far to say that rape occurs more often in countries where women are made to cover up more, such as a burqua, most likely by their husbands. marital rape to them is an oxymoron. It's not just the sense of society excusing the rapists behavior by blaming the victim (because if it's the woman's fault, then it can't possibly be a problem with society, so long as you don't "ask for it" you'll be safe), but also believing that men should have access to a woman's body whenever he wants, no matter what she's wearing. but they don't have that right... no one does.
Blackrose13 0
Not true. A guy can be slipped Viagra from a girl, and also stimulation usually works to get and keep a guy hard. Also, there is anal rape. They are statistically less likely to be raped, but it doesn't mean that they don't deserve justice. Look at that crazy Russian chick who locked up that bugler and raped him for like 4 days straight this is to 79BTW
awdorable 0
Wow, your mom is such a prude! Making out is slutty? Since when? This is the 21st century, giving a guy oral is considered normal.
missshortstack 0
Must have been an extreme makeout then, dont see how thats much of a tease. Sorry your moms so strict about that, maybe shes never seen you do anything like that of the sort so shes just worried.
drimpossible 0
I liked your mom's preamble
emyle11 0
Your mom sounds like a prude.
booitsme 0
haha i feeel ya my mom thinks u cant kiss a guy till you get married im 18
avoidthegirl 6
WTF?! Your mom must be BFF with the Duggar family, eh? If you're going to college, you should just make out with some random guy, take pictures and send them to your mom. It's not like she can legally do anything to stop you. What a ******* crazy woman!
oogyboogy 6
... That's called being a bitch So shut the hell up nobody likes you
pwnage79 0
#84 his mom thinks that, not him genius
booitsme 0
im a girl lol btw
cms70 0
Your mom is a ****. I hope she gets brutally raped just for saying that to you. Mainly because she reminds me of my mom who, upon finding out I was raped and almost strangled to death last year, said "Oh, well it was your fault anyway. It's always partly the woman's fault. You should have known better than to let it happen." Sounds like your mom is the type who would be exactly the same way.
ohhhhshizzz 0
Can I kick your mom's ass? Like really, she needs to get over her issues, go to therapy or something because she has a problem.
SomeonePosting 0
I would also like to partake in ass kicking.
frost_fml 0
May I participate in your mother's ass kicking as well?
cms70 0
Aww thank you all very much:) She definitely has issues, for sure. I try to give her the benefit of the doubt since she's in her 60s and in her time I guess things were different. But, she's still a bitch. Never thought people wanting to kick my mom's ass would warm my heart...no doubt I have issues too! LOL
12frisbees 0
I'm so sorry you had that experience. :( As a fellow survivor, I hope you've found some peace. I think wishing rape on someone else is a little harsh, though. I don't feel anyone ever deserves that.
awdorable 0
First of all, sorry about you getting raped. Second of all, WTF is wrong with your mum? rape is NEVER the woman's fault. NEVER! (ps, no offense or anything, I hope your mommy gets raped too! *childish voice*)
Blackrose13 0
I was raped and sexually assaulted, but if my mom ever found out, she would murder the guy.(Literally, she would kill him, and her knowing where he lives would make it easier. I was afraid to tell my boyfriend for the same reason) I'm sorry, what happened to you is SO much worse than what happened to me. :,( Internet hugs. I will join in the asskicking too!
quitterl 0
What you said is a contradition of terms. You can't say that a women is never responsible for being raped and then say that certain women deserve to be raped. That doesn't work.
fawfulster 11
Nah... You don't have issues, people who are pissed about their parents don't actually mind that others insult their parents. So, if someone calls you a "son of a bitch" you'll know it's true... But hey! I got an idea! How about this? How about you send your mom a link to this specific FML and below the link you write "You see #47's comment? That's me." I can already see it comming. "Today, my daughter sent me an e-mail with a link to this site. Below the link read the line 'You see #47's comment? That's me.' I checked it. Now everyone thinks I'm a bitch and wants to 'kick my ass'. FML."
Laeif 0
I would love to meet your mom, she sounds like she has an awesome way of phrasing things.
BeanieBaby 0
You just made my day. I thought my brother woke me up really creepily this morning (he started whispering my name-not that bad but unsettling to hear first thing in the morning...), but your mom is so misguided it's honestly really amusing.
Athabaska 10
Hmm, kinda reminds me of an awkward conversation I had with my mom shortly after she met my then new girlfriend, she very dead seriously asks me if we've had sex yet, and me not wanting to talk to her about that really at all, I said no, and her response was to sympathetically say don't worry, I'm sure you will soon... Mother's can be very strange