anonymous
United States
Today, my mother told me she wanted me to get an exorcism. Yes, she was serious. I'm Jewish. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Possession
Today, my mom wants me to get an exorcism because piercings, tattoos, my own car, my own career, moving out of her house, and wanting zero contact with her from now on are "sure signs of demonic possession", maybe even the influence of Lucifer himself. FML
Sodapop40
"Tubular Bells" by Mike Oldfield starts playing…
Today, my mom admitted to me that, when I was a baby, my grandmother kidnapped me and took me to the priest to perform an exorcism, because she swore I was the "spawn of Satan." FML
so scared
Barrie, Canada
Tubular Bells starts playing…
Today, my mother thought it would be funny to sneak into my room at night and scream like a demon, after I'd explained to her how scared I was of The Exorcist movie I had just seen. She claims it wasn't her. FML
Anonymous
Tucson, United States
Today, my mother straight up admitted that she would murder me if God told her to. FML
Colby
Saint John, Canada
Today, I watched my mother tell a man that the holocaust was "a good thing" and "necessary for population control". That man was my girlfriend's father. Who is Jewish. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I got my very first yeast infection. Thinking she would help me, I went to my mom. Instead she began yelling about how I'm lying and it's an STD and I don't believe in the power of Jesus. FML
jkbeynon
Canyon Country, United States
Today, I told my mom that I heard something, and I think we have rats in the attic and should hire an exterminator. She looked at me and said, "Rats, huh? That's what the mom in The Exorcist thought, but it turned out to be the devil living up there." FML
Sigh
United States
Today, I decided to tell my mother what I thought about religion. I've been raised catholic. I told her I was converting to Wicca, to which she sort of nodded and walked away. I went into my room to study with my earbuds in, music loud. I walked out to see a cross nailed above my door. FML
ughh
United States
Today, my mom read my diary. Then she frantically booked me an appointment with a psychiatrist. FML
fanaticalfuckspawn
Santa Cruz, United States
Burn the witch!
Today, I told my mom I've been taking yoga lessons, and that it'd be cool if she took some with me. She immediately went on a rant, calling yoga "satanic" and accusing me of trying to get her into "devil worship". Well, that's the last time I try to patch our relationship up. FML
Top comments
Keyman1212 14
Oy Vey!
kidtoronto 5
lol ur mom is legit insane
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Comments (134)
FarSide 23
So many "experts" about something they know nothing about. Demon possession does not pick and choose based upon race, sex, marriage, religion, or sexual orientation. It discriminates against no one, or no thing. Including animals. It is not relevant whether you believe demons exist or not. Thumbing it down won't change the fact or truth.
NurseBitch 5
You are scarring me.
Shadow_Phantom 26
You left out the part where Demons don't possess people. (They're framed.)
seeunexttuesdays 6
wow you did Nazi that coming!
GinaFromYorktown 0
oh thank god someone else's mom does that too. phew.
NYkid2K8 5
Let us know how that turns out!
KaylieBieber13 0
your mom is ****** UP!!!!
DaddyFatSacks 0
Its your fault cause your a jew
MrRayBans 8
I wonder what she'd say if you were atheist. o.O
raebeglan 7
I think the point is that in exorcisms they use the power of Crist to get the demon out.( crist being jesus crist) and Jews don't believe in Jesus...
gingerftw 0
I am a great exorcist I have done many exorcisms if you would like to take advantage of my exclusive offer please call me at 513-FYL-HAHA or email me at [email protected]
fadingaway 17
Another job for the Winchesters. Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii, omnis legio, omnis congregatio et secta diabolica. Ergo, draco maledicte, ecclesiam tuam securi tibi facias libertate servire, te rogamus, audi nos.