anonymous
United States
Today, my mother told me she wanted me to get an exorcism. Yes, she was serious. I'm Jewish. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Possession
Today, my mom wants me to get an exorcism because piercings, tattoos, my own car, my own career, moving out of her house, and wanting zero contact with her from now on are "sure signs of demonic possession", maybe even the influence of Lucifer himself. FML
Sodapop40
"Tubular Bells" by Mike Oldfield starts playing…
Today, my mom admitted to me that, when I was a baby, my grandmother kidnapped me and took me to the priest to perform an exorcism, because she swore I was the "spawn of Satan." FML
so scared
Barrie, Canada
Tubular Bells starts playing…
Today, my mother thought it would be funny to sneak into my room at night and scream like a demon, after I'd explained to her how scared I was of The Exorcist movie I had just seen. She claims it wasn't her. FML
Anonymous
Tucson, United States
Today, my mother straight up admitted that she would murder me if God told her to. FML
Colby
Saint John, Canada
Today, I watched my mother tell a man that the holocaust was "a good thing" and "necessary for population control". That man was my girlfriend's father. Who is Jewish. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I got my very first yeast infection. Thinking she would help me, I went to my mom. Instead she began yelling about how I'm lying and it's an STD and I don't believe in the power of Jesus. FML
jkbeynon
Canyon Country, United States
Today, I told my mom that I heard something, and I think we have rats in the attic and should hire an exterminator. She looked at me and said, "Rats, huh? That's what the mom in The Exorcist thought, but it turned out to be the devil living up there." FML
Sigh
United States
Today, I decided to tell my mother what I thought about religion. I've been raised catholic. I told her I was converting to Wicca, to which she sort of nodded and walked away. I went into my room to study with my earbuds in, music loud. I walked out to see a cross nailed above my door. FML
ughh
United States
Today, my mom read my diary. Then she frantically booked me an appointment with a psychiatrist. FML
fanaticalfuckspawn
Santa Cruz, United States
Burn the witch!
Today, I told my mom I've been taking yoga lessons, and that it'd be cool if she took some with me. She immediately went on a rant, calling yoga "satanic" and accusing me of trying to get her into "devil worship". Well, that's the last time I try to patch our relationship up. FML
Top comments
Keyman1212 14
Oy Vey!
kidtoronto 5
lol ur mom is legit insane
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Comments (134)
daisyloo 7
I feel sorry for you...FYL!:(
zombiebud 5
wow now that is funny
MrXerxes5 6
Is she a fucktard? Sounds like she is... try explaining to her that it's a way of life not ''spiritual'' posession.
conversechick98 2
mazl-toh!
fthku 13
*Mazal tov. How does "mazal tov" fit in here, anyway?
iSurf_fml 8
Because people who aren't Jewish know that as a Jewish word and associate it with anything of the culture because we think it's funny. Even though it must look really stupid to actual Jewish people, we find simple joy in crude humor.
fthku 13
Yeah, it seems pretty silly. *Hebrew word, not Jewish one.
iSurf_fml 8
Haha, and that just proved my logic.
ahahawut 1
look at the bright side: you're protected from demons!
1958x 6
This is kinda funny but your mom is crazy.
Mythekos 0
Religion = Unexplainably Dumb. -..-
AnagenisisZagus 13
Your beliefs = No one gives a shit.
Mythekos 0
Well it obviously bothered you enough to male you comment. If you really didn't give a shit then you wouldn't have said anything, instead of stating something obvious.
wilesmoods1 0
I'm with 41. Seriously, nobody cares about your lack of belief. Troll.
iSurf_fml 8
"By the power vested in me.....wait are you a Jew?"
budbad8 0
that was funny thanks
sourgirl101 29
It's time for a blood sacrifice.
HU4L188 0
so.. just cus ur jewish doesnt mean u cant get posessed by evil demons :)
Shadow_Phantom 26
And just because you think they're evil... doesn't mean they are.
iSurf_fml 8
Okay....We get you're an atheist, but please don't be the know-it-all jackass kind. The majority of us who have faith in something don't need your negative ass to keep us down. Sincerely, Religion's pissed off secretary
HU4L188 0
well maybe just some are evil. but if they posess you, they most likely are
HU4L188 0
wat r u talking about?
iSurf_fml 8
Sorry, that was meant for 68 on 16's thread. I have no idea how it got down here.