Miscellaneous: Today, my mother told me she wanted me to get an exorcism. Yes,...

anonymous 6 July 2011, 15:21 United States

Today, my mother told me she wanted me to get an exorcism. Yes, she was serious. I'm Jewish. FML

134 comments

Collection

Fall

Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.

Same thing different taste

Anonymous 10 July 2023, 18:00

Possession

Today, my mom wants me to get an exorcism because piercings, tattoos, my own car, my own career, moving out of her house, and wanting zero contact with her from now on are "sure signs of demonic possession", maybe even the influence of Lucifer himself. FML

3 comments

Sodapop40 21 June 2020, 05:05

"Tubular Bells" by Mike Oldfield starts playing…

Today, my mom admitted to me that, when I was a baby, my grandmother kidnapped me and took me to the priest to perform an exorcism, because she swore I was the "spawn of Satan." FML

7 comments

so scared 8 February 2014, 17:13 Barrie, Canada

Tubular Bells starts playing…

Today, my mother thought it would be funny to sneak into my room at night and scream like a demon, after I'd explained to her how scared I was of The Exorcist movie I had just seen. She claims it wasn't her. FML

91 comments

Anonymous 20 March 2016, 06:24 Tucson, United States

Today, my mother straight up admitted that she would murder me if God told her to. FML

75 comments

Colby 15 November 2013, 16:59 Saint John, Canada

Today, I watched my mother tell a man that the holocaust was "a good thing" and "necessary for population control". That man was my girlfriend's father. Who is Jewish. FML

39 comments

Anonymous 12 February 2013, 23:01 United States

Today, I got my very first yeast infection. Thinking she would help me, I went to my mom. Instead she began yelling about how I'm lying and it's an STD and I don't believe in the power of Jesus. FML

127 comments

jkbeynon 3 March 2013, 04:18 Canyon Country, United States

Today, I told my mom that I heard something, and I think we have rats in the attic and should hire an exterminator. She looked at me and said, "Rats, huh? That's what the mom in The Exorcist thought, but it turned out to be the devil living up there." FML

42 comments

Sigh 23 May 2009, 05:50 United States

Today, I decided to tell my mother what I thought about religion. I've been raised catholic. I told her I was converting to Wicca, to which she sort of nodded and walked away. I went into my room to study with my earbuds in, music loud. I walked out to see a cross nailed above my door. FML

115 comments

ughh 22 November 2011, 13:22 United States

Today, my mom read my diary. Then she frantically booked me an appointment with a psychiatrist. FML

196 comments

fanaticalfuckspawn 25 August 2014, 20:14 Santa Cruz, United States

Burn the witch!

Today, I told my mom I've been taking yoga lessons, and that it'd be cool if she took some with me. She immediately went on a rant, calling yoga "satanic" and accusing me of trying to get her into "devil worship". Well, that's the last time I try to patch our relationship up. FML