Today, my mom was giving me a long lecture about being aware of my surroundings, because you never know what's out there. While she was talking, I noticed a drug deal going down in the Walmart parking lot. She didn't notice. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom is 100% positive that she saw me meeting up with a stranger and buying some kind of drug from "him." I didn't even pass by anyone on my walk. I went to get dollar store pizza, because I can't afford to buy any decent food this week, let alone drugs. FML
Today, my mother set off the alarms at Walmart by shoplifting. She shouted at me to run, which I didn't. I had to get a ride home from the security guard, since my mother left without me because I didn't get to her car fast enough. FML
Today, while my mom was out, I took the car out to CVS to get some food, even though I'm not legally allowed to drive. As soon as I got back in the car, my mom pulled up 2 parking spaces away from me. She didn't notice me bend down to hide... until I accidentally hit the horn in the process. FML
Today, my mom told me she's a drug addict, sold my bed to buy meth, and then lectured me about how I should be okay with it. FML
Today, I went to Walmart with my mom. At the checkout line I was eating a bag of chips as my mom bought her stuff. I inhaled while eating and I started to choke. The cashier asked me if I was OK. My mom just waved her hand, and said, "Sometimes she does that for attention, ignore her." FML
Today, I pooped in a drug store bathroom but forgot to flush. I left to go find my mom and found her in the toy section. I guess after I had walked away oblivious, a woman had walked into the bathroom behind me and found the kids I'd abandoned. She then came and found my mom and me, then yelled at me. FML
Today, my mom was driving with my brothers and sister in the back seat. She was turned around talking to us, when my sister told my mom that she missed the light. She ran it, then screamed at us about not paying attention and noticing your surroundings. FML
Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought it would be funny to scare her by sneaking up and grabbing her ass. Not only was it not my mom, I left the place with a ban from ever returning to that store. FML
Today, I was in Walmart with my mom. I was looking for some CDs I wanted and saw a cute guy. Then he nodded at me and as he started to walk towards me, I hear my name being called over the intercom. Apparently, according to my mom, it was time to go. FML
Today, I saw a woman run down my street screaming, "Fuck you cops! I can drive under the influence if I want to!" It took me a second to realize it was my mother. FML
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Top comments
Keevarou 17
She was in the middle of a lecture.. So that's usually where the concentration goes somestimes, at least for me. But hey, she cares about you, that's a good thing anyway, an you are aware of your surroundings, so it should be fine. In worst case, just tell your mom that, then it would be ok
TatMan15 10
That's embarrassing for her. She should take her own advice
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Comments (146)
Calyx_fml 22
OP: But right over... Mom: And if you spot a drug deal remember to buy enough for your mother.
reten 0
Pussy say what??
THE_A_TEEN 28
Random ****** in the universe: WHAT? Humour aside, what's the point of that?
SqueakyChipmunk 22
A pussy says meow. Or Queef. Depends on what kind.
mollysticks 10
Reten: you just said it... HA.
KiddNYC1O 22
Was it Jim Jones?
verkaderk 9
Explain to me how this is an FML? Irony doesn't make ur life suck...
blegehlehgleh 0
Today, I was buying some blow outside of Walmart, both me and the dealer were proud because we were being amazingly discrete. As a turn to leave, proud of my ninja skills, I see a kid and his mom looking straight at me. FML
firefighterjohn 9
what are you 10?
THE_A_TEEN 28
Yeah, 10 year olds know what a drug deal is.
KiddNYC1O 22
You'd be surprised, ATeen... You'd be surprised. Some even sell, buy and transport.
iCake 13
A perfect fit for the word: "irony"
BeMyLove15 10
I live in new orleans and that stuff goes on 24/7, we don't take much notice.
11mandy80 6
Sdi
France07 3
Same thing happened to me while I was at Safeway with my mom a few weeks ago and she didn't even care.