Today, my mom was giving me a long lecture about being aware of my surroundings, because you never know what's out there. While she was talking, I noticed a drug deal going down in the Walmart parking lot. She didn't notice. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my mom is 100% positive that she saw me meeting up with a stranger and buying some kind of drug from "him." I didn't even pass by anyone on my walk. I went to get dollar store pizza, because I can't afford to buy any decent food this week, let alone drugs. FML
Today, my mother set off the alarms at Walmart by shoplifting. She shouted at me to run, which I didn't. I had to get a ride home from the security guard, since my mother left without me because I didn't get to her car fast enough. FML
Today, while my mom was out, I took the car out to CVS to get some food, even though I'm not legally allowed to drive. As soon as I got back in the car, my mom pulled up 2 parking spaces away from me. She didn't notice me bend down to hide... until I accidentally hit the horn in the process. FML
Today, my mom told me she's a drug addict, sold my bed to buy meth, and then lectured me about how I should be okay with it. FML
Today, I went to Walmart with my mom. At the checkout line I was eating a bag of chips as my mom bought her stuff. I inhaled while eating and I started to choke. The cashier asked me if I was OK. My mom just waved her hand, and said, "Sometimes she does that for attention, ignore her." FML
Today, I pooped in a drug store bathroom but forgot to flush. I left to go find my mom and found her in the toy section. I guess after I had walked away oblivious, a woman had walked into the bathroom behind me and found the kids I'd abandoned. She then came and found my mom and me, then yelled at me. FML
Today, my mom was driving with my brothers and sister in the back seat. She was turned around talking to us, when my sister told my mom that she missed the light. She ran it, then screamed at us about not paying attention and noticing your surroundings. FML
Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought it would be funny to scare her by sneaking up and grabbing her ass. Not only was it not my mom, I left the place with a ban from ever returning to that store. FML
Today, I was in Walmart with my mom. I was looking for some CDs I wanted and saw a cute guy. Then he nodded at me and as he started to walk towards me, I hear my name being called over the intercom. Apparently, according to my mom, it was time to go. FML
Today, I saw a woman run down my street screaming, "Fuck you cops! I can drive under the influence if I want to!" It took me a second to realize it was my mother. FML
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Top comments
Keevarou 17
She was in the middle of a lecture.. So that's usually where the concentration goes somestimes, at least for me. But hey, she cares about you, that's a good thing anyway, an you are aware of your surroundings, so it should be fine. In worst case, just tell your mom that, then it would be ok
TatMan15 10
That's embarrassing for her. She should take her own advice
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Comments (146)
Kibaruto 33
Things like theft, mugging and rape happen quite often near my Walmart. Keep up the observance, my friends :D unless you're into surprise buttsecks?
Demonfish 14
This kind of stuff happens to me a lot... Except I genuinely am oblivious to my surroundings; I once failed to notice a fight occurring less than a metre from where I was sitting... :P
pumpkin989 0
At least she cares about you enough to give you the lecture
snafu63 0
Today, I was having a good day, and then I read your FML. FML
THE_A_TEEN 28
YDI for going on FML, reading the FML, and commenting on the FML.
newburton13 26
My mom gave me this same advice. She can't find either of her reading glasses when they're both on her head.
BunBunBabe 8
72 is angry about something said from someone.... Somewhere
rda7117 0
Well that's not your moms business she was prolly trying to help a young party **** like yourself be safe getting into your car. So maybe you should have been smart to call the police
THE_A_TEEN 28
Why the hell do you assume that OP is a young party ****? Hell, why call OP a "****" when you have no evidence?
SqueakyChipmunk 22
What?
ICastillo 25
Hey you were being aware, so be proud of yourself haha
wobeert 7
how is this an FML
THE_A_TEEN 28
Because her mom is telling her to be observant, while OP is already observant. And the moderators chose this FML to post on the front page.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Everyday they moderatin'.
pexy_fml 16
You superman?!
NNR 0
The original plan was for your mom to distract you so you couldn't call the cops when the deal went down.