Today, my mom tried giving me the sex talk. Her version of "the talk" consisted of making me watch videos of guys jacking off and reassuring me that "it's natural." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML
Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML
Today, I overheard my mom giving my 6-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, my dad gave me the dreaded sex talk, but he got sidetracked and started talking about how good my mum was in bed. FML
Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk. Almost before he could open his mouth, my mother popped her head into the room and said, "Be realistic, Dan. Who would want to sleep with that?" FML
Today, my mom gave me the "birds and the bees" talk, while she was taking a dump. FML
Today, I got the sex talk from my dad. It wouldn't have been so bad if he hadn't said, "It's not the size of the stick, it's how you use it." I'm a girl. FML
Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to remind me about my non-existent sex life while all the family was having dinner. FML
Today, my mom gave me a talk on safe sex. During a three hour car ride. With my friends in the back seat. FML
Today, I sat down with my daughter to have the sex talk, because she recently started seeing a guy. I mentioned at one point how disappointed I would be if she got pregnant. She went wide-eyed and asked, "Didn't mom tell you?" FML
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Top comments
Dinoporeon 9
That is NOT the sex talk. Your mom made you watch creepy ****.
joea21 21
Better than her making sure you're using proper technique.
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Comments (114)
kappinlivy 9
Thats illegal
illegalbeagle69 23
So am I, I'm still here.
blackonblight 33
So, uh, what's the legal status of a parent showing pornographic materials to their underage child? Assuming OP is underage, that is. If of age, then it goes into weirder territory for entirely different reasons.
allplayedout 20
I don't know how old you are or what gender you are, but your mom has (accidentally?) subjected you to what in most states is considered a form of sexual abuse. That shit's for the birds...and the bees
Gregshelton8611 5
thats funny
Pinkfun69 4
So sorry OP what a creeper mom!
musicophilia 3
It may have been embarrassing, but at least she's done the right thing! It could've been MUCH worse!
binbin05_fml 11
nothing to do here
sassy2085 16
Awkward!
The_Hula_Monster 10
At least you're an adult and she hasn't committed a felony by showing you ****... Right?
Muttley9 13
Better than some at least; sorry you were bored, but at least you will have something to remember and laugh at in the days to come :)