Today, my mom tried giving me the sex talk. Her version of "the talk" consisted of making me watch videos of guys jacking off and reassuring me that "it's natural." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML
Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML
Today, I overheard my mom giving my 6-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, my dad gave me the dreaded sex talk, but he got sidetracked and started talking about how good my mum was in bed. FML
Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk. Almost before he could open his mouth, my mother popped her head into the room and said, "Be realistic, Dan. Who would want to sleep with that?" FML
Today, my mom gave me the "birds and the bees" talk, while she was taking a dump. FML
Today, I got the sex talk from my dad. It wouldn't have been so bad if he hadn't said, "It's not the size of the stick, it's how you use it." I'm a girl. FML
Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to remind me about my non-existent sex life while all the family was having dinner. FML
Today, my mom gave me a talk on safe sex. During a three hour car ride. With my friends in the back seat. FML
Today, I sat down with my daughter to have the sex talk, because she recently started seeing a guy. I mentioned at one point how disappointed I would be if she got pregnant. She went wide-eyed and asked, "Didn't mom tell you?" FML
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Top comments
Dinoporeon 9
That is NOT the sex talk. Your mom made you watch creepy ****.
joea21 21
Better than her making sure you're using proper technique.
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Comments (114)
an3ph 20
Well… it is natural, but NO ONE should have to watch it. On behalf of all us Jacks everywhere, I am sorry.
cmac86 24
I'm kind of curious how she got the videos. did she film them herself, is she a **** connoisseur, or does she have a really kinky/creepy collection?
Fotch2013 4
but I bet you stay away from guys for a ling time. which is exactly what she wants
xsilentxninjax 10
Ewwwww
Winterfell_fml 8
My friends mum just made him watch ****
SuperAwesomeMane 10
THAT should be on American Pie lol
Addiction333 14
I think this calls for some hands on experience.
Iamentertained 13
The ****?