Today, my mom screeched at me about my pillowcase being dirty and finished off one long rant with an irate, "Who raised you to be such a pig?" Her anger multiplied by ten when I asked if it was a trick question. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my normally very modest and prissy mom came home, pissed off about something. I asked her what was wrong, but she wouldn't say, and snapped at me to "fuck off." She then grounded me for "making" her use that kind of "vile language." FML
Today, my mom's obsession with cleanliness hit a new low when she bitched at me for having trash in my trash can. FML
Today, like most days, my mom screamed at me for not knowing the answer to one of her random questions. When I told her she could easily Google it or ask Siri, she went full nuclear meltdown and raged, "I’m not asking that bitch Siri, I’m asking YOU!" The words "batshit crazy" come to mind. FML
Today, my mother gave me a reprimand for my table manners when I didn't ask for someone to pass the vegetables I could have gotten myself. She then let out a raunchy fart at the table, and had the nerve to yell, "Did you ask to be excused?!" as I vacated the area. FML
Today, my mom put me in an anger management class because I said "crap." FML
Today, my mother called me, telling me how disappointed she was at how I let my room "become such a pigsty." I haven't lived there in three years. FML
Today, I angrily scolded one of my employees for making an avoidable mistake for the third time. Unfortunately, my mother decided to pay me a surprise visit, and arrived mid-rant. She chewed me out for being mean and made me apologize. Now everyone at work calls me "mama's boy" and nobody takes me seriously. FML
Today, my mom complained that I was being too loud, and she smacked my head really hard. All while screaming at me. FML
Today, I kindly asked my irate mother to respect my boundaries and to find other outlets for her frustration. Instead of responding AT ALL to what I had asked, she yelled at me for an hour about a completely unrelated political documentary she'd seen on YouTube, and then didn't apologize for her outburst. Typical. FML
Today, I had to listen to my mother painstakingly spell out to me why broken glass is extremely dangerous. Feeling insulted, I jokingly asked her if she thought I was "retarded". I then got yelled at for "swearing." I'm a fucking adult, but my overprotective and condescending mother seems to think otherwise. FML
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Top comments
laden_swallow09 35
C'mon. She walked right into that one.
ant1078 7
These are the moments when being quiet is the best way out of a dangerous situation
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Comments (95)
Enslaved 38
I guess mother didn't realise she raised you to be a smart ass, too. Sounds like you couldn't win in that situation. :P
Ugi 27
I wonder whether you mother is of a "certain age". You might want to lie low for a few years.
trollold 0
Is your mom hot?
unknown_user5566 27
Go away, Troll. I predict Sirin or one of the other all-mighty mods will reign hell down upon your head soon enough.
ElishaisSexy2016 9
Just wash the pillow case. Problem solved.
unknown_user5566 27
Well, get a time machine THEN wash the pillow case. Then it's problem solved. ;)
ElishaisSexy2016 9
Haha true :P but afterwards work too.
eatdemcupcakes 4
To Tardis!
Goober244 12
Tardis is fake and gay
gracehi 33
Well, she asked! It's like when a mom calls her son, "you son of a bitch!" Yep, seems pretty accurate.
trollol2012 6
Lol
drewcat21 0
Turn the pillow case inside out?
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Why not just wash it? That way it's actually clean.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Sorry, I didn't mean to post the same comment twice.
astralvagan 20
While normally you shouldn't say stuff like that to your mother, she set herself up for that one! Good job on the follow through
sharksfan48 13
Sometimes it's best to keep your mouth shut
someguy314159265 15
I agree, but there are situations (I have been in some myself) where someone asks you such an idiotic question and actually expects and awaits an answer. In such cases, you are screwed no matter what you do or don't do.
RedPillSucks 33
I'm sure it was a rhetorical question. OP felt like being a smartass but didn't want to deal with the consequences of smartassdom.
SuiGeneris01 2
That ought a teach her not to wash your own pillow case. Seriously.. That's kind of nasty. Just wash it!
lelo007 11
I could see my mom reacting the same way. Sometimes it's just best to keep your mouth shut and let her yell. Mothers tend to get quieter sooner when you just let them get it out.