Today, my mom screeched at me about my pillowcase being dirty and finished off one long rant with an irate, "Who raised you to be such a pig?" Her anger multiplied by ten when I asked if it was a trick question. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my normally very modest and prissy mom came home, pissed off about something. I asked her what was wrong, but she wouldn't say, and snapped at me to "fuck off." She then grounded me for "making" her use that kind of "vile language." FML
Today, my mom's obsession with cleanliness hit a new low when she bitched at me for having trash in my trash can. FML
Today, like most days, my mom screamed at me for not knowing the answer to one of her random questions. When I told her she could easily Google it or ask Siri, she went full nuclear meltdown and raged, "I’m not asking that bitch Siri, I’m asking YOU!" The words "batshit crazy" come to mind. FML
Today, my mother gave me a reprimand for my table manners when I didn't ask for someone to pass the vegetables I could have gotten myself. She then let out a raunchy fart at the table, and had the nerve to yell, "Did you ask to be excused?!" as I vacated the area. FML
Today, my mom put me in an anger management class because I said "crap." FML
Today, my mother called me, telling me how disappointed she was at how I let my room "become such a pigsty." I haven't lived there in three years. FML
Today, I angrily scolded one of my employees for making an avoidable mistake for the third time. Unfortunately, my mother decided to pay me a surprise visit, and arrived mid-rant. She chewed me out for being mean and made me apologize. Now everyone at work calls me "mama's boy" and nobody takes me seriously. FML
Today, my mom complained that I was being too loud, and she smacked my head really hard. All while screaming at me. FML
Today, I kindly asked my irate mother to respect my boundaries and to find other outlets for her frustration. Instead of responding AT ALL to what I had asked, she yelled at me for an hour about a completely unrelated political documentary she'd seen on YouTube, and then didn't apologize for her outburst. Typical. FML
Today, I had to listen to my mother painstakingly spell out to me why broken glass is extremely dangerous. Feeling insulted, I jokingly asked her if she thought I was "retarded". I then got yelled at for "swearing." I'm a fucking adult, but my overprotective and condescending mother seems to think otherwise. FML
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Top comments
laden_swallow09 35
C'mon. She walked right into that one.
ant1078 7
These are the moments when being quiet is the best way out of a dangerous situation
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Comments (95)
kakarot2 11
It really doesn't matter what parents say to you. You shut the **** up when parents talk to you. It's called respect. Even if they are wrong. You never talk back! You can always make the right decisions later without having to provoke them. If my kids were to talk back to me he or she would get their ass handed to them.
EvanescenceLuver 12
My friend, I love your sass. So very much.
kitkattgirl 2
If it was a rhetorical question, you should have kept quiet. But if she was really asking, she had that one coming.
Eiregal2 10
My mum would have tore me a new one if I had said that, worth it though! Lol. And all these people going on about respect your parents, yes, to a degree do, but when they start overreacting for the dumbest thing and screaming abuse at you just because they feel like it then I would find it very hard to keep my mouth shut. Respect can go both ways dearies!
Ltlime 5
There's respect, then there's abuse of self-appointed power. Guess which side you're on darling. Make the right decision later? What's the other action towards being screamed at over a dirty pillowcase? 2 hours later; "Mother, I disliked the way you raised your voice at me regarding my dirty pillowcase, and although I understand your point I am not very fond of your tone and action regarding the matter" Yeah, I see that one going well. Sometimes they deserve it, sometimes they don't. Respect is earned, not given automatically.
missmon92 6
Haha, this reminds me of a time my mom was yelling at my younger brother and he said something back to piss her off even more and she screamed "son of a bitch!" and stormed off. When she walked past me I muttered "you did raise him to be your son, you know..." she gave me that look of death and walked away
8KAGE8 8
Well she walked right into that one...
benmec 18
Is this from an episode of hunny boo boo?
juliee_xd 3
LOLLL Omg this made me laugh real bad
kurtiemae 1
You are my new hero