Today, my mom found my dad's hidden stash of cigarettes. He told her they were mine and now I have to spend two hours at therapy for my "smoking problem" every weekend. I've never smoked. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my mom found my pack of cigarettes. She's now making me go to rehab. I had only smoked one cigarette ever just to try it. I didn't even like it. FML
Today, my parents found cigarettes in my car. After a long argument lasting over an hour, I convinced them that they weren't mine and that I don't smoke. A few minutes later, I went to work. Guess who decided to visit me during my smoke break. FML
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
Today, my mom spent over $200 getting me tested for every drug in the book. All because I admitted to smoking a single cigarette two years ago. FML
Today, my dad found out I recently tried weed. He called me a useless waste of air and grounded me for the rest of the year. Then he went outside and smoked his third cigarette of the morning. FML
Today, my mom found a pack of cigarettes in my pocket. She hates smoking, so she tore every single cigarette to pieces, then emptied a bag of kitty litter on them. On my bed. FML
Today, my dad thought it would be funny to make me hold an unlit cigarette before FaceTiming my mom so he could prank her by saying, "He's got a new habit." My mom did not find it funny, especially when I mentioned to her that I did not willingly participate. Now I'm stuck in this car, listening to them argue. FML
Today, my dad hit his mid-life crisis. When I came home and said hi, he told me to shut up, then went to the living room. He then lit up a cigarette and started muttering about having to put up with me, then went into a coughing fit, because he's never smoked before in his life. FML
Today, my mom found out about my brother smoking. She calmly discussed smoking with him. On the other hand, I got yelled at and made to do chores all day despite having a university exam, just because I knew about it but I didn't tell her, because I knew that I would get the short end of the stick. FML
Today, while driving me to the hospital because I was having an asthma attack, my mother lit a cigarette. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
golden_warrior 23
I'm pretty sure you can tell a smoker from a non smoker. Just tell your mom to check his teeth
Welshite 40
Just tell your mom that you need your dad there for "support".
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (94)
gc327072 31
He'll keep on digging that hole for himself. And then he won't be able to climb out.
C00kiesNcream 24
Have fun attending sessions you're not supposed to be at :p
terryaly 13
enjoy your weekend
happyfingers 15
Well, that's not cool. I agree with #2, tell her you want your dad there for support. See where that gets ya
Epikouros 32
Oh well, if your parents are ****** up like that, you need therapy anyway.
Esran 9
For God sake for once take a hit for your Dad, one day you'll laugh about it. Don't be a pussy and wine, be a Man and surprise them.
chosha_fml 27
You know what? Therapy is expensive and can be really helpful. And everyone has shit to deal with in life. If you can't get out of it, use it, for whatever would benefit you.
olpally 33
Your dad is a piece of shit human being. Wow. Even worse is your mom believing him. Addicts usually lie to get away with their addiction. Unreal.
buckdharma 38
Learn the cessation techniques well and teach them to your dad to help him quit. This way he can **** with you a lot longer.
_jetaimexo 3
tell your dad he needs to give you 500 dollats and you won't say anything; ) lol #blackmail