Today, my mom found my dad's hidden stash of cigarettes. He told her they were mine and now I have to spend two hours at therapy for my "smoking problem" every weekend. I've never smoked. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom found my pack of cigarettes. She's now making me go to rehab. I had only smoked one cigarette ever just to try it. I didn't even like it. FML
Today, my parents found cigarettes in my car. After a long argument lasting over an hour, I convinced them that they weren't mine and that I don't smoke. A few minutes later, I went to work. Guess who decided to visit me during my smoke break. FML
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
Today, my mom spent over $200 getting me tested for every drug in the book. All because I admitted to smoking a single cigarette two years ago. FML
Today, my dad found out I recently tried weed. He called me a useless waste of air and grounded me for the rest of the year. Then he went outside and smoked his third cigarette of the morning. FML
Today, my mom found a pack of cigarettes in my pocket. She hates smoking, so she tore every single cigarette to pieces, then emptied a bag of kitty litter on them. On my bed. FML
Today, my dad thought it would be funny to make me hold an unlit cigarette before FaceTiming my mom so he could prank her by saying, "He's got a new habit." My mom did not find it funny, especially when I mentioned to her that I did not willingly participate. Now I'm stuck in this car, listening to them argue. FML
Today, my dad hit his mid-life crisis. When I came home and said hi, he told me to shut up, then went to the living room. He then lit up a cigarette and started muttering about having to put up with me, then went into a coughing fit, because he's never smoked before in his life. FML
Today, my mom found out about my brother smoking. She calmly discussed smoking with him. On the other hand, I got yelled at and made to do chores all day despite having a university exam, just because I knew about it but I didn't tell her, because I knew that I would get the short end of the stick. FML
Today, while driving me to the hospital because I was having an asthma attack, my mother lit a cigarette. FML
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Top comments
golden_warrior 23
I'm pretty sure you can tell a smoker from a non smoker. Just tell your mom to check his teeth
Welshite 40
Just tell your mom that you need your dad there for "support".
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Comments (94)
TroyS77 3
Ask your new therapist for advice, see if he believes you
hockeycenter19 4
Just remember....karma is a bitch
rockne93 17
Start smoking in retaliation
JulieLola_fml 4
Haha!
jimmywithsalt 19
Weasel. Get the truth known, OP!
cmac86 24
no time to start like the present, I guess. it'll at least give you a reason to go to therapy.
oyemba 6
You gotta take one for the team. lol Make dad pay by letting him buy that video game console, you have always wanted
oyemba 6
who's paying for the therapy?
museerux01 10
i keep seeing "talk to your mom" that obviously wont help if shes in denial... the only way out of this OP is talk to your DAD.
i_love_giraffes 5
Just tell the therapist the situation. In all likelihood, they will understand the situation and tell your parents that you do not need therapy. Plus, there aren't many therapists who specialize in smoking cessation, so I'm sure after one visit (maybe even a half visit), you won't need to go anymore. Just talk to the therapist about other things if your parents still insist you go. Everyone has something they need help with, and the therapist can't share what you talk about with your parents unless they feel you are in immediate danger.