Today, my mom found my dad's hidden stash of cigarettes. He told her they were mine and now I have to spend two hours at therapy for my "smoking problem" every weekend. I've never smoked. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom found my pack of cigarettes. She's now making me go to rehab. I had only smoked one cigarette ever just to try it. I didn't even like it. FML
Today, my parents found cigarettes in my car. After a long argument lasting over an hour, I convinced them that they weren't mine and that I don't smoke. A few minutes later, I went to work. Guess who decided to visit me during my smoke break. FML
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
Today, my mom spent over $200 getting me tested for every drug in the book. All because I admitted to smoking a single cigarette two years ago. FML
Today, my dad found out I recently tried weed. He called me a useless waste of air and grounded me for the rest of the year. Then he went outside and smoked his third cigarette of the morning. FML
Today, my mom found a pack of cigarettes in my pocket. She hates smoking, so she tore every single cigarette to pieces, then emptied a bag of kitty litter on them. On my bed. FML
Today, my dad thought it would be funny to make me hold an unlit cigarette before FaceTiming my mom so he could prank her by saying, "He's got a new habit." My mom did not find it funny, especially when I mentioned to her that I did not willingly participate. Now I'm stuck in this car, listening to them argue. FML
Today, my dad hit his mid-life crisis. When I came home and said hi, he told me to shut up, then went to the living room. He then lit up a cigarette and started muttering about having to put up with me, then went into a coughing fit, because he's never smoked before in his life. FML
Today, my mom found out about my brother smoking. She calmly discussed smoking with him. On the other hand, I got yelled at and made to do chores all day despite having a university exam, just because I knew about it but I didn't tell her, because I knew that I would get the short end of the stick. FML
Today, while driving me to the hospital because I was having an asthma attack, my mother lit a cigarette. FML
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Top comments
golden_warrior 23
I'm pretty sure you can tell a smoker from a non smoker. Just tell your mom to check his teeth
Welshite 40
Just tell your mom that you need your dad there for "support".
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Comments (94)
Squygm 7
You CAN refuse to go. Or, you can sit there in silence every session if the therapist doesn't believe you.
BrotherPhil 35
Of course, OP would then be "non compliant" and Nurse Ratchett would fit him for one of those nice jackets that do up at the back.
gc327072 31
OP:"I already said, I don't smoke!" Therapist: "uh oh, patient is being non-cooperative.!" OP: "No I was just-" Therapist: "NURSE!" (OP is carried offstage in a straitjacket by three large men) Aaaand scene!
sunnyray812 42
Your dad is an ass.
gracehi 33
Your dad is a coward.
mzdaisylynn 12
Your mom never noticed how your dad's clothes, hair and breath smelled?
mFUNdo21 17
I'm wondering how she never noticed the taste if they kissed
mattstefanick 6
thanks obama
cina5 19
Talk to your mom and try to convince her.
EmmaMK 35
Your dad owes you! I'm sure he would not say no to you driving his car etc.
jw90 18
He should own up to his lie and go to therapy himself.
dakotahulsey 15
Very bro move for not ratting him out though. Make sure he knows he owes you!
Beepbeep7 14
Your dad sounds extremely childish.He's an adult,why hide it to begin with? Sorry OP.Maybe you'll learn something interesting in therapy.