Today, my mom found my dad's hidden stash of cigarettes. He told her they were mine and now I have to spend two hours at therapy for my "smoking problem" every weekend. I've never smoked. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom found my pack of cigarettes. She's now making me go to rehab. I had only smoked one cigarette ever just to try it. I didn't even like it. FML
Today, my parents found cigarettes in my car. After a long argument lasting over an hour, I convinced them that they weren't mine and that I don't smoke. A few minutes later, I went to work. Guess who decided to visit me during my smoke break. FML
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
Today, my mom spent over $200 getting me tested for every drug in the book. All because I admitted to smoking a single cigarette two years ago. FML
Today, my dad found out I recently tried weed. He called me a useless waste of air and grounded me for the rest of the year. Then he went outside and smoked his third cigarette of the morning. FML
Today, my mom found a pack of cigarettes in my pocket. She hates smoking, so she tore every single cigarette to pieces, then emptied a bag of kitty litter on them. On my bed. FML
Today, my dad thought it would be funny to make me hold an unlit cigarette before FaceTiming my mom so he could prank her by saying, "He's got a new habit." My mom did not find it funny, especially when I mentioned to her that I did not willingly participate. Now I'm stuck in this car, listening to them argue. FML
Today, my dad hit his mid-life crisis. When I came home and said hi, he told me to shut up, then went to the living room. He then lit up a cigarette and started muttering about having to put up with me, then went into a coughing fit, because he's never smoked before in his life. FML
Today, my mom found out about my brother smoking. She calmly discussed smoking with him. On the other hand, I got yelled at and made to do chores all day despite having a university exam, just because I knew about it but I didn't tell her, because I knew that I would get the short end of the stick. FML
Today, while driving me to the hospital because I was having an asthma attack, my mother lit a cigarette. FML
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Top comments
golden_warrior 23
I'm pretty sure you can tell a smoker from a non smoker. Just tell your mom to check his teeth
Welshite 40
Just tell your mom that you need your dad there for "support".
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Comments (94)
skinflint 6
way to man up and take 1 for the team! hopefully your dad returns the favor.
Omniprism 15
Black mail your dad into giving you just compensation for your time spent. Like 50 dollars for every class.
siggy_mcsigx 22
I agree, extort, extort!!!
fabricatedego 5
well have you told the therapist this information?
MixMastaKDizzle 12
Well, you can probably bribe your dad into getting you all kinds of stuff! :0
zomgbies 17
Sounds like your mom is a bright one.
blackonblight 33
If its not a group therapy or sessions with mom in the room, then just take advantage of this to talk about the fact that your father is lying to your mother and punishing you for his mistakes. You'll probably find a solution within the first session.
AbbotsfordVandal 14
Just ask them to take you to a doctor, it'll be obvious then if you've ever smoked