Today, my little sister was playing with her building blocks. All of a sudden, she began to cry and held her finger out to me. Assuming she had hurt it, I kissed it better, and tasted something odd on my lips. Turns out she wasn't hurt, she was crying because she had touched cat vomit. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my little sister started freaking out, because she was playing with some white-out eraser and got some on her finger. She started crying inconsolably because she thought her entire finger was going to disappear. FML
Today, I went to visit my mom and my 3-month-old sister. I picked the baby up, totally unaware that she had just eaten. As I went to give her a kiss, she vomited straight into my mouth. Let's just say she wasn't the only one who puked. FML
Today, my sister asked me to let her dog out of the kennel when I got home. I did only to have the little beast bite me. She then ate the entire content of the cat's litter box, which she couldn't keep down. FML
Today, after staying up all night at my friend's house, I woke up to something I couldn't identify on my cheek, so I slapped it away. When I heard crying, I opened my eyes and realized it was my friend's three year old sister who was trying to be sweet by kissing me on the cheek. FML
Today, while I was eating, my younger sister came over and sat beside me. She started clipping her toenails. Disgusted by it, I turned and opened my mouth to tell her to move somewhere else, just as one flew inside my mouth. FML
Today, because I wouldn’t let my little sister have any more cookies, she snuck into my room while I was sleeping and superglued my lips together. FML
Today, my 9 year old shitblossom of a sister decided to wake me up by hocking a loogie into my mouth. FML
Today, while showering, I pulled on my white exfoliating gloves ready to wash my face. As I was about to use them, a dark stain caught my eye so I sniffed the mark, only to discover it was poop. After further investigation, I found out my younger sister had been wearing them and "experimenting". FML
Today, I thought I'd take my little sister to the park. After getting bored of playing on the climbers, she thought it would be funny to throw some mud at me; too bad mud wasn’t the only chunky brown stuff on the ground. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML
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Top comments
Fuk_My_Life 0
Ur gonna get herpes if you dont look before you kiss
sch1ll 0
ewwwwwwwwie gross..didnt u sense that there was something on her finger ?
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Comments (77)
Subjectzero 0
fyl but you DID deserve it.
myballs 0
Blind, are you? YDI.
bi_chick 0
apparently she did, since she stuck her finger out and started crying. . . I'm assuming she was uncomfortable with the vomit on her finger.
jack185868 0
that sucks. you should have asked what was wrong first.
FarSide 23
YDI for having a cat.
triplethreat13 0
Gross. That's worse than licking glue off the table when I thought it was yogurt. I was 5, ok? Haha anyway, this is REALLY funny though, honestly!
godhelpme92 0
Yuck
flinkpamingo 0
Cardinal Rule # 87 of children: NEVER under ANY circumstances kiss ANYTHING unless you know where it has been for the previous 15 minutes!!! NEVER!!! Now, I hope you've learned your lesson! Go brush your teeth and wash your face. You'll live. But people may call you "Stinky" from now on. Go.
ASHLEEBAYBEEx3 4
wtf ?! why are people saying this girl deserved it ?! she thought her little sister was crying in pain and kissed her finger so her sister would stop crying and fell better ! wtf is wrong with that ?! people just love pressing the " you deserve it button " im pretty sure alot of you when you were a kid had some " boo boo's " and had your mom or someone kiss it better to make YOUU feel better ! thats what she did ! she could have been aa bitch of a sister and laughed but she tried to make her sisterr feel better . somee stupid ass, ass wholee NUMBER##46 said she desrves it for having a cat ! dumb ass douche no she doesnt . wtf is your problem ! everyone has pets and pets likee people throw up . so are you not going to havee a pet ?! the little girl deserves it kind of for touching the vomitt, or having her hand in the way IFF she could see the cat wasnt feeling good ( if shes likee 2-3 ITDOESNTCOUNT ) but to the person who wrote this its nasty :( lmao poor you . TO THE ASS HOLES who click you deserve itt YOURDOUCHES !! >;P
sch1ll 0
comment #50 -shut the **** up please.. i cant believe ur getting so ******* emotional over that shit. lmao!! apparently #46 had there own opinion on the situation and so do u but damnnnnnnnn just shut up, k ? cooooooool
ASHLEEBAYBEEx3 4
#52 you shut thee **** upp i can see say w|e the fuckk ii wantt. ihmm not getting emotional over this. just because i use the cap lock button to make it look angery doesnt mean in real lifee ihmm gettiing red facee, getting madd. no im not. it just annoys me when stupid people say YDI for stupid reasons. likee really YDI for having a cat? thats stupid. you act likee i was really getting mad. like after i wrote this i went to bed and cryiedd D": hahha NOO im just expressing my opinon. it may look angry b|c i wrote in caps and put ?! but i bet if i didnt include those things yoou wouldnt be telling me to calm the **** downn. ass hole you calm the fuckk downnn. i can express myself if i want :) so you SHUTTHEFUCKUPYOUDOUCH >:O oh opps ii used capss ihmm getting too " emotional " ii gotta go cryy now :( lmao
sch1ll 0
lmaooo i bet u are loserrrrrr hahahhahaah GO CRY.
Chocolate_Chunk 2
#59: "whateva i do what i want"
Princess994 0
agreed #50~
1234five 0
******* hilarious !!