Today, in the middle of an exam, I was escorted out by the campus police due to suspicion of a concealed weapon. The officers couldn't stop laughing for 20 minutes when they found out the weapon was metal knitting needles. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I went to school wearing the same jacket I had gone hiking in the previous day. When I found out that I had left my 2" pocket knife in the pocket I immediately turned it in to the front office. They promptly had me arrested for bringing a weapon on campus. FML
Today, I got suspended for bringing a "hazardous weapon" to school. They were earrings. FML
Today, I got stopped at the bank by security for carrying a weapon and threatened to call the police. I had to prove my “metal stick” was not a weapon. I'm partially paralyzed in one of my feet and have to walk with a cane. FML
Today, I was at a party when the cops showed up. They asked whether anyone had a gun, but I heard "fun" instead and raised my hand. I got searched. FML
Today, I was arrested for carrying a dangerous weapon. I was on my way home from the shop where I'd bought a new kitchen knife. FML
Today, I was taken to the principal's office and bitched out about the dangerous weapon I brought to school. The "weapon" was a pocket fan. FML
Today, I got to school and my stuff was searched by a police officer, which isn't normal. As I walked to my locker, there were several more police officers patrolling the hallways. Turns out a VERY troubled kid who was expelled last year had issued a threat, so they're taking excessive precautions. This is America. FML
Today, I'm on holiday with my boyfriend. Going through Chinese customs, an officer pulled us aside, removed a suspicious metal object from my boyfriend's luggage and called six other officers to have a look. It was a kinky pair of handcuffs. FML
Today, I got pulled over by a state trooper for speeding. When he saw I had something in my pocket, he began to ask if it was a weapon. After arguing for a few minutes I was put in handcuffs. I was too embarrassed to pull the tampon out my pocket. FML
Today, I was mugged in a public bathroom. All I had on me was a plastic sheriff's badge, so I gave it to them. They laughed me out of the restroom. FML
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Top comments
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
- Quilting isn't knitting. That's like telling someone to drill a hole with a welding torch. - You can knit while between classes, or waiting for a class to start, or riding a public bus to campus. - The only time you shouldn't have knitting needles is when you have your crochet hook.
Madeline69 0
Well it's a good excuse for cheating "Are you looking off someones paper?". "Why no I'm just finnishing this quilt and there are two big convienient holes in it."
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Comments (56)
catcatcatherine 0
Haha knittas in the house! I've never had this happen but work at an LYS and have heard many a horror story about knitting needles and planes...
Pointy130 0
Yeah, my mom got held up from a flight because some crazy chinese lady was trying to steal her knitting needles. /not even joking.
FarSide 23
well... they could have put someone's eyes out...
Sun_Kissed18 25
Or, ya know, stab someone... o.O
Firestar1202 0
YDI for tying to kill people with knitting needles.
pinto502 0
lmfao! :D
djqlue 0
WTF were you doing with knitting needles in the middle of an exam anyway?? That was dumb of you
catcatcatherine 0
There is no situation I can think of in which knitting needles should not be on your person.
nokillnobeepbeep 0
Making a scarf? Who doesn't like a scarf?
rightsaidred 3
Dude, I have knitting needles with me at all times. I knit on the bus, I knit on my break at work, I knit at restaurants... muggles (that's non-knitters to you) just don't get it.
KalvinAlexander 0
why you carry metal knitting needles to your exam ?
redbluegreen 41
Magic.
Intellectualist 0
*poof*
Madeline69 0
Well it's a good excuse for cheating "Are you looking off someones paper?". "Why no I'm just finnishing this quilt and there are two big convienient holes in it."
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
- Quilting isn't knitting. That's like telling someone to drill a hole with a welding torch. - You can knit while between classes, or waiting for a class to start, or riding a public bus to campus. - The only time you shouldn't have knitting needles is when you have your crochet hook.
brinky09 0
Fa sho. Knitting is the new black, yo. Everyone's wearing it ;D
RubixMonkey 0
That must be awkward for you to be wearing someone knitting
idkmybffmika 0
ahaha for real. love crocheting, but i don't bring my hooks to school, exactly for that reason.
sasonzal 4
once i almost got into serious troubels for picking up a kitchen knife that cant cut shit in my school,if i would of got in troubels for that its could be the most fuckt up day ever
EireGoBragh 1
What did that have to do with anything? Also learn2english.
n0thingp3rsonal 0
so its not your thing, get over it
hobopatz 0
hahaha great. i wonder what idiot reported you?
watermind 0
Well you can seriously hurt someone with those if you want. Then again you can easily do it with a sharp pencil too.
Tsumetai_fml 0
i know right a pencil is more dangerous than a knitting needle in my opinion back in 5th grade i was sitting in class when this girl got up to sharpen her pencil going back to her seat she plunged it into my arm wtf? i barely knew her, not like i did anything to deserve it. the tip broke off inside my arm ;.; the lead of the pencil left a permanment mark that i still have 10+ years later
Darling_Cherry 5
That'll teach you to be a hipster doofus.