Animals: Today, my sister asked me to let her dog out of the kennel when...

By ginya - 07/06/2016 01:58 - United States - Bedford

Today, my sister asked me to let her dog out of the kennel when I got home. I did only to have the little beast bite me. She then ate the entire content of the cat's litter box, which she couldn't keep down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 483

You deserved it 1 084

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Same thing different taste

By crybaby - 28/06/2016 17:54 - United States - Seattle

Today, I went to let my puppy out, and I turned around to see her peeing on the carpet. After getting her outside, I saw my little sister pooping on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 674

You deserved it 831

Pink tax

By banj0 - 06/10/2012 22:58 - United States - Madison

Today, I had to pry my sister's used tampon out from between my dog's jaws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 781

You deserved it 2 218

Wrecked

By cathouse - 26/03/2011 19:27 - United Kingdom

Today, my family came back from holiday to discover that my little sister had messed with the cat flap before we left. Several stray cats were able to come in, but were unable to get out, and left shit in various areas around the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 960

You deserved it 4 236

By Anonymous - 07/03/2015 20:14 - United States - Columbia City

Today, a dog bit me, tearing a hole through my sweatpants, my shorts, and my underwear, all to get at the dog treat I'd hidden in my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 443

You deserved it 9 333

Bad boy

By Anonymous - 05/07/2019 14:00

Today, I went home for lunch. Upon opening the door, I smelled something horrid. My dog had opened his cage, eaten all the dog treats, and had diarrhea all over my bed and bedroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 696

You deserved it 305

Pure evil

By Anonymous - 29/04/2015 16:06 - South Africa - Pinetown

Today, my sister's kitten walked away from his litter box, jumped onto the table, looked me dead in the eyes, then peed directly onto my laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 100

You deserved it 3 339

By FishFlingingMonkey - 22/08/2015 03:55 - Canada - Saint John

Today, I was eating and my dog kept bothering me. She kept scratching my legs for food, so I took a large piece of fish from my plate and tossed it out into the hallway. It flew right into my mother's face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 306

You deserved it 8 135

By Noname - 15/10/2009 22:14 - United States

Today, my younger sister's dog broke its leg. The vets are closed today so instead of going on a date with a girl I have been trying to get for at least 2 years, I need to carry an 80 lb. dog that hates me, up and down the stairs. I already got bit twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 550

You deserved it 3 490

By Dead Inside - 03/12/2018 07:30 - United States - Elkhart

Today, the family dog was in the garbage and wouldn't stop eating. He is a large dog, and I had to put my arms around him and pull him out of the trash can. Well, he bit me so hard I was bleeding. My whole family is siding with the dog and saying it was my fault for not letting him eat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 969

You deserved it 408

By Anonymous - 08/10/2009 03:22 - United States

Today, my little sister was playing with her building blocks. All of a sudden, she began to cry and held her finger out to me. Assuming she had hurt it, I kissed it better, and tasted something odd on my lips. Turns out she wasn't hurt, she was crying because she had touched cat vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 808

You deserved it 9 083

JohnnyKade 25

Tuesday 7 June 2016 14:42

It had to get the taste of you out of its mouth by any means...

chewsef 17

Tuesday 7 June 2016 16:27

Who let the dogs out? OP did.

Comments

JohnnyKade 25

Tuesday 7 June 2016 14:42

It had to get the taste of you out of its mouth by any means...

mds9986 24

Tuesday 7 June 2016 14:45

Ruff situation there

walker9879 25

Tuesday 7 June 2016 14:50

Yeah that might have been cat-astrophic

MidnaLink 33

Tuesday 7 June 2016 14:53

Dogs. Always little *****, aren't they?

tranced_ 45

Tuesday 7 June 2016 15:05

are you talking about your sister or her dog ?

chewsef 17

Tuesday 7 June 2016 16:27

Who let the dogs out? OP did.

abNormal62 23

Tuesday 7 June 2016 17:33

Kit scat is a nice light treat

Catdragon 40

Tuesday 7 June 2016 19:13

I will show this every time someone tells people to hate cats, dogs are better, get a dog.

hellnosucka 27

Tuesday 7 June 2016 19:44

that's a wild little bitch

toba122 12

Tuesday 7 June 2016 20:20

My god, the stench of that must've been fit for the depths of hell.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I put my sexiest lingerie on, lit candles, put some sensual music on, and got my bed ready to surprise my boyfriend when he came home. I positioned myself in the sexiest pose possible. He came home and didn't come in my room for twenty minutes because of a football game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 147

You deserved it 6 979

Today, I attended a cooking class with my co-workers. As the chef prepared to cut up a load of onions for his dish, he warned us to be ready for the "typical reactions". Everyone teared up. Meanwhile, I popped a boner. So much for typical. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 318

You deserved it 9 464

The Top

Today, our stupid pediatrician gave an anal suppository for our toddler's consistent tummy ache. She is NEVER constipated and passes stools regularly twice a day. Guess who had to hold down a 3-year-old and put in the medicine - which did not help with the tummy ache. I can't live with myself now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 126

You deserved it 368

Today, I farted so loud that I woke myself up. And the stranger sitting next to me on the airplane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 580

You deserved it 7 568

Today, my wife's parents came over, insisting they saw me at the bar at 1:30 p.m., talked to me, and that I left with another woman. I was at work all day. I have no idea what they are talking about, I've never done this. My wife doesn't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 269

You deserved it 373

Today, the favorite activity of the four kids I'm babysitting is running up to me when I least expect it and farting on me. I can't even sit down without them attacking me with their butts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 917

You deserved it 1 206

Today, I realized that trying to fit in with my crush's social circle by acting like one of the lads was a waste of time. All he does is high-five me all the time and tell me every little detail of his latest one night stands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 390

You deserved it 28 022

Today, my husband called me to our bedroom, saying he needed help with something. I found him sitting on the bed with his pants down, so I smiled and asked if he was angling for sex, which was fine with me. Nope. He needed me to pop a pimple under his ballsack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 217

You deserved it 382