Miscellaneous: Today, my husband thought it would be funny to scare me by maniacally...

By Shantwozzlah - 26/03/2012 16:15 - United States - Kissimmee

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to scare me by maniacally zooming in and out of traffic while we were on his motorcycle. His mood turned to anger when I nervously admitted to having voided my bowels. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 839

You deserved it 3 581

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By toni405 - 21/07/2011 21:24 - United States

Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 765

You deserved it 11 469

By Anonymous - 27/05/2011 15:31 - United States

Today, I walked into work looking like I had peed myself, all because my husband thought it would be "hilarious" to slam on the brakes while I was drinking hot coffee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 391

You deserved it 3 570

By N O - 27/05/2014 18:47 - Canada - Granton

Today, my husband thought it would be hilarious to slip a little fake blood into the bathtub while I was relaxing in it, eyes closed. When I opened my eyes, the water was one big cloud of red. I screamed so loud that I might as well have been dying, and yes, he recorded everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 382

You deserved it 6 961

Clenched

By Lovergirl - 01/01/2010 20:23 - United States

Today, I was snuggled in bed with my husband. He thought because my butt was twitching that I was trying to be frisky. So he slapped my ass hard in attempt to get something going. I was actually trying to hold in a huge fart because last night I had diarrhea. Apparently I still have it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 786

You deserved it 3 939

By Dramaqueenfornothing - 27/04/2016 22:32 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, while being intimate with my future husband, I reached over to stroke his cheek. The light behind him cast a shadow over my chest, and it scared me so much, I screamed then I farted on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 340

You deserved it 2 811

Overheard musings

By thanks hun - 07/05/2020 20:00

Today, my husband came out of the bathroom and screamed, "Call 911 because I just murdered this motherfucking toilet!” then laughed hysterically at his own stupid joke. I was on a Zoom meeting at the time. Everyone heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 983

You deserved it 247

Hilarious

By Anonymous - 01/02/2012 20:21 - United States

Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 271

You deserved it 4 006

By TotallyDeservedIt - 19/05/2016 17:19 - United States - Midlothian

Today, my plan to prank my husband backfired when I forgot about the "pop-its" I left under the toilet seat and set them off. It not only scared the shit out of me, it also woke up my 2 month-old and my grumpy husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 069

You deserved it 12 927

By catt - 17/10/2014 20:12 - Germany - Berlin

Today, my boyfriend tried to rid me of my hiccups. As he'd screamed at me and I'd pissed my pants, I just burst into tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 540

You deserved it 4 052

Party animal

By Laci - 30/04/2011 17:50 - United States

Today, I was stuck crouching over the toilet after a night of drinking. My fiancé walked in, gathered my hair, and held it out of the way. When another wave of nausea hit me and I leaned in, he shoved my face into the bowl and ran out, laughing and yelling, "That'll teach ya!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 920

You deserved it 23 214

olpally 32

Tuesday 27 March 2012 3:17

What a crazy bf you have... That's not funny at all that's just flat out stupid and dangerous... Fyl op, how unfortunate, just be glad you only voided your bowels instead of being road kill...

G0odgrief 0

Tuesday 27 March 2012 3:21

tell your boyfriend that putting you in a terrifying and extremely dangerous situation is not ******* funny.

Comments

kerrwoof 13

Tuesday 27 March 2012 3:31

Looks like you weren't figuratively speaking when you told him he scared the crap out of you.

rubberduckie94 13

Tuesday 27 March 2012 3:35

Served him right. Sounds like the time my brother decided to go 120 with me riding with him. Motorcycles are great, but some people are morons.

xtalondriver 10

Tuesday 27 March 2012 16:30

Nice pic

myersch 2

Tuesday 27 March 2012 3:40

ur bf is funny

RadPenny 6

Tuesday 27 March 2012 3:53

Sarcasm?

demonmonkey 13

Tuesday 27 March 2012 5:55

No. Dead serious.

DoneBeenShrunk 0

Tuesday 27 March 2012 15:30

YOU'RE a dick

myersch 2

Wednesday 28 March 2012 4:11

not really

teentee401 36

Saturday 19 July 2014 16:19

It's her husband

ashl123 19

Tuesday 27 March 2012 3:42

Somebody's trying to sound smart "voided my bowels". Fancy. I would have gone with pooed myself

G0odgrief 0

Tuesday 27 March 2012 3:45

does 'voided' even make sense in that context? I would have said evacuated my bowels

KiddNYC1O 20

Tuesday 27 March 2012 4:29

Such noobs, you two.

nofearjenshere 12

Tuesday 27 March 2012 4:48

n00bs*

G0odgrief 0

Tuesday 27 March 2012 6:08

I am indeed.

Xalandra 17

Tuesday 27 March 2012 3:44

Wow what an asshat! Sorry OP, maybe it's a good thing this happened so he won't go risking his life and yours again just because he thinks it's funny. He shouldn't have done it in the first place but maybe now he's learned his lesson.

CallMeMcFeelii 13

Tuesday 27 March 2012 3:47

Awl, that's the fun part about a motorcycle. It's a little dangerous unless you have the right idea what you're doing. But I'n not dumb enough to do that with a passenger.

peachesncreem 21

Tuesday 27 March 2012 7:15

And what about the other motorists on the road? Did you think about them? It's all fun and laughs until you or someone else are seriously injured.

rubberduckie94 13

Tuesday 27 March 2012 13:50

If your not being sarcastic we will soon be receiving your post from the hospital or maybe the doc doing your autopsy will submit a final fml for you.

LuckyTroll 6

Tuesday 27 March 2012 3:57

Ah you where idiots that almost hit me

LuckyTroll 6

Tuesday 27 March 2012 3:59

Lol I see what you did, very clever

picturescrazy 24

Tuesday 27 March 2012 4:03

What an asshole. Risking your life for a laugh and getting pissed at you when he found out he literally scared the shit out of you? Why are you with him, OP? He sounds awful.