Miscellaneous: Today, my husband thought it would be funny to scare me by maniacally...

By Shantwozzlah - 26/03/2012 16:15 - United States - Kissimmee

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to scare me by maniacally zooming in and out of traffic while we were on his motorcycle. His mood turned to anger when I nervously admitted to having voided my bowels. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 839

You deserved it 3 581

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Same thing different taste

By toni405 - 21/07/2011 21:24 - United States

Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 765

You deserved it 11 469

By Anonymous - 27/05/2011 15:31 - United States

Today, I walked into work looking like I had peed myself, all because my husband thought it would be "hilarious" to slam on the brakes while I was drinking hot coffee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 393

You deserved it 3 570

By N O - 27/05/2014 18:47 - Canada - Granton

Today, my husband thought it would be hilarious to slip a little fake blood into the bathtub while I was relaxing in it, eyes closed. When I opened my eyes, the water was one big cloud of red. I screamed so loud that I might as well have been dying, and yes, he recorded everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 383

You deserved it 6 961

Clenched

By Lovergirl - 01/01/2010 20:23 - United States

Today, I was snuggled in bed with my husband. He thought because my butt was twitching that I was trying to be frisky. So he slapped my ass hard in attempt to get something going. I was actually trying to hold in a huge fart because last night I had diarrhea. Apparently I still have it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 786

You deserved it 3 939

By Dramaqueenfornothing - 27/04/2016 22:32 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, while being intimate with my future husband, I reached over to stroke his cheek. The light behind him cast a shadow over my chest, and it scared me so much, I screamed then I farted on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 344

You deserved it 2 811

Overheard musings

By thanks hun - 07/05/2020 20:00

Today, my husband came out of the bathroom and screamed, "Call 911 because I just murdered this motherfucking toilet!” then laughed hysterically at his own stupid joke. I was on a Zoom meeting at the time. Everyone heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 985

You deserved it 247

Hilarious

By Anonymous - 01/02/2012 20:21 - United States

Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 271

You deserved it 4 006

By TotallyDeservedIt - 19/05/2016 17:19 - United States - Midlothian

Today, my plan to prank my husband backfired when I forgot about the "pop-its" I left under the toilet seat and set them off. It not only scared the shit out of me, it also woke up my 2 month-old and my grumpy husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 069

You deserved it 12 927

By catt - 17/10/2014 20:12 - Germany - Berlin

Today, my boyfriend tried to rid me of my hiccups. As he'd screamed at me and I'd pissed my pants, I just burst into tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 540

You deserved it 4 052

Party animal

By Laci - 30/04/2011 17:50 - United States

Today, I was stuck crouching over the toilet after a night of drinking. My fiancé walked in, gathered my hair, and held it out of the way. When another wave of nausea hit me and I leaned in, he shoved my face into the bowl and ran out, laughing and yelling, "That'll teach ya!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 921

You deserved it 23 214

olpally 32

Tuesday 27 March 2012 3:17

What a crazy bf you have... That's not funny at all that's just flat out stupid and dangerous... Fyl op, how unfortunate, just be glad you only voided your bowels instead of being road kill...

G0odgrief 0

Tuesday 27 March 2012 3:21

tell your boyfriend that putting you in a terrifying and extremely dangerous situation is not ******* funny.

Comments

JuggaloForLif3 0

Tuesday 27 March 2012 5:32

Wel he deserved it for being a dick. I don't feel bad for the boyfriend. And he shouldn't of gotten mad bc it was his fault anyways..

Yourheadache 19

Tuesday 27 March 2012 5:33

good thing you were not wearing a brazilian bikini and flies buzzing you butt while in the motorcycle.

j_cat187 19

Tuesday 27 March 2012 16:46

Imagine ******** yourself in a Brazilian? Not bad enough?

Candice0687 0

Tuesday 27 March 2012 5:38

That sucks for you, he has no one to blame but himself he could of killed the both of you if he didn't care about his life he should of at least cared for yours.

mikeymayhem_87 15

Tuesday 27 March 2012 5:39

Ummm wow..... Can't really decide whether you deserve it or not.... But regardless.... Your BF sounds like a douche for pulling a stunt like that. Sorry OP!

javierb88 3

Tuesday 27 March 2012 5:46

that's a shitty situation

FukUrDreamz 0

Tuesday 27 March 2012 5:50

Wait u shit ur pants...? Were u pushing..? Was it like diarrhea..? I mean who ***** there pants...? But ur bf is an asshole for playing like that tho...but u shit ur pants tho...?!? Lmao..eh **** ur life...well that's what ur bf was thinking weaving thru traffic like that on a bike...

Lizzy500 16

Wednesday 28 March 2012 1:29

"scare the shit out of you" is an expression for a reason

beastiness 14

Tuesday 27 March 2012 5:57

Am I the only one who feels bad for OPs boyfriend, I mean everything seems less safe when you are not in controll of the vehicle and Have to trust the driver to know what their doing. This could have been OPs first ride on a bike and he was just driven like usual, fhl cause now he has to clean your shit off his bike

DocBastard 38

Tuesday 27 March 2012 6:19

Yes, you're about the only one who feels sorry for the idiot who weaved through traffic with his girlfriend on the back.

chels1994 11

Tuesday 27 March 2012 10:58

Trusting the driver has little to do with this, though. It may not necessarily be the boyfriend who crashes or hits something. Many cars still have larger blind spots, and if OP's boyfriend is swerving all over the place someone may run into him and still cause an accident that could have been easily avoided.