Miscellaneous: Today, my husband thought it would be funny to scare me by maniacally...

By Shantwozzlah - 26/03/2012 16:15 - United States - Kissimmee

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to scare me by maniacally zooming in and out of traffic while we were on his motorcycle. His mood turned to anger when I nervously admitted to having voided my bowels. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 840

You deserved it 3 581

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By toni405 - 21/07/2011 21:24 - United States

Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 765

You deserved it 11 469

By Anonymous - 27/05/2011 15:31 - United States

Today, I walked into work looking like I had peed myself, all because my husband thought it would be "hilarious" to slam on the brakes while I was drinking hot coffee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 393

You deserved it 3 570

By N O - 27/05/2014 18:47 - Canada - Granton

Today, my husband thought it would be hilarious to slip a little fake blood into the bathtub while I was relaxing in it, eyes closed. When I opened my eyes, the water was one big cloud of red. I screamed so loud that I might as well have been dying, and yes, he recorded everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 383

You deserved it 6 961

Clenched

By Lovergirl - 01/01/2010 20:23 - United States

Today, I was snuggled in bed with my husband. He thought because my butt was twitching that I was trying to be frisky. So he slapped my ass hard in attempt to get something going. I was actually trying to hold in a huge fart because last night I had diarrhea. Apparently I still have it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 786

You deserved it 3 939

By Dramaqueenfornothing - 27/04/2016 22:32 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, while being intimate with my future husband, I reached over to stroke his cheek. The light behind him cast a shadow over my chest, and it scared me so much, I screamed then I farted on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 344

You deserved it 2 811

Overheard musings

By thanks hun - 07/05/2020 20:00

Today, my husband came out of the bathroom and screamed, "Call 911 because I just murdered this motherfucking toilet!” then laughed hysterically at his own stupid joke. I was on a Zoom meeting at the time. Everyone heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 985

You deserved it 247

Hilarious

By Anonymous - 01/02/2012 20:21 - United States

Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 271

You deserved it 4 006

By TotallyDeservedIt - 19/05/2016 17:19 - United States - Midlothian

Today, my plan to prank my husband backfired when I forgot about the "pop-its" I left under the toilet seat and set them off. It not only scared the shit out of me, it also woke up my 2 month-old and my grumpy husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 069

You deserved it 12 927

By catt - 17/10/2014 20:12 - Germany - Berlin

Today, my boyfriend tried to rid me of my hiccups. As he'd screamed at me and I'd pissed my pants, I just burst into tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 540

You deserved it 4 052

Party animal

By Laci - 30/04/2011 17:50 - United States

Today, I was stuck crouching over the toilet after a night of drinking. My fiancé walked in, gathered my hair, and held it out of the way. When another wave of nausea hit me and I leaned in, he shoved my face into the bowl and ran out, laughing and yelling, "That'll teach ya!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 921

You deserved it 23 214

olpally 32

Tuesday 27 March 2012 3:17

What a crazy bf you have... That's not funny at all that's just flat out stupid and dangerous... Fyl op, how unfortunate, just be glad you only voided your bowels instead of being road kill...

G0odgrief 0

Tuesday 27 March 2012 3:21

tell your boyfriend that putting you in a terrifying and extremely dangerous situation is not ******* funny.

Comments

t0rnadeau 4

Tuesday 27 March 2012 13:07

If your on a bike do stupid shit on your own time, don't drop your girl friend into that mixture

Rocky007 15

Tuesday 27 March 2012 13:13

YDI for climbing on the donor-cycle in the first place.

jjmiller1001 17

Tuesday 27 March 2012 16:35

Don't worry about it, one day he will misjudge something or hit some loose gravel and then you won't have an asshole boyfriend

mbrooks5110 0

Tuesday 27 March 2012 21:54

You need to dump him he's an asshole. He endangered your life, thought is was funny. Horrified you to the point where you went on yourself & got angry at you for his asshatery. This is not the kind of person anyone needs to be with.

Cablo_Gubla 2

Wednesday 28 March 2012 1:51

Don't date idiots.

missnuthin 10

Wednesday 28 March 2012 4:00

sounds like HDI (he deserved it)

iTransform 8

Wednesday 28 March 2012 13:14

Serves his stupid ass right, bet he won't do it again.

EvilDave 13

Wednesday 28 March 2012 16:50

OP, you deserve it for dating someone like that and he deserves for being like that.

DanielleinDC 33

Thursday 29 March 2012 17:31

I'll assume OP has ridden with her boyfriend before, so she had no reason to believe he was going to act like a maniac . He evidently thought it would be funny to give his girlfriend a scare and started driving dangerously. The fact that he thought it would be funny to scare his girlfriend speaks volumes about his personality. Then when he realizes that he literally scared the shit out of her, he has the unmitigated freaking gall to get angry at a situation HE caused? What an asshat. DTMFA. If he wants to ride like a maniac, he can do so alone. Hopefully he won't be doing it for long.