Today, my husband thought it would be "funny" to put laxatives in the cakes for my son's 7th birthday party. Over 40 kids came to the party. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I yelled at my spouse in front of 20 guests for not coming to blow out his birthday cake candles. Turns out he was in the other room, quietly changing his disabled friend's diaper. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I lit my birthday candles on the cake I made myself and blew them out alone, while my worthless husband sat on the couch stuffing Doritos in his face. My present? He sprayed Lysol in the bathroom after he took a dump. FML
Today, it was my boyfriend's 24th birthday. His friends were throwing him a surprise party and I was in charge of getting his birthday cake. As a joke, I got it in the shape of a penis, with a graphic marzipan design. Funny, I never knew his overly-conservative parents were invited. FML
Today, it was my son's fifth birthday. I asked my grandmother, who is a baker, to make a birthday cake for the party. Two hours after the party started, she arrived drunk with a large ham with candles in it. FML
Today, I'm a host at a restaurant. We had a birthday party for a couple of 15 year old boys and their friends. I went to clean the bathroom at the end of my shift and discovered cake everywhere, including all over the urinal. They were even nice enough to draw a smiley on the mirror with icing. FML
Today, as I'm 7 months pregnant and craving sweets, I helped myself to my MIL's birthday cake a little early. The family got so angry, they actually made me leave the party. My husband agreed with them. FML
Today, I had to call poison control because my idiot son swallowed a bunch of baking soda to "make a volcano in his tummy." FML
Today, at my 6-year-old son's birthday party, I had to explain to my boyfriend that it's not okay to use condoms as party balloons. FML
Today, my boyfriend made me a latte. It tasted off, but I didn't want to hurt his feelings so I drank it. Turns out he put laxatives in it as a prank. The idiot couldn’t just use one or two. He used so many that I had to go to the ER for severe dehydration after puking and shitting for hours. FML
Today, we were celebrating my birthday and my boyfriend thought it would be funny to shove my face in the cake. While the candles were still lit. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
evnflr 7
Now that's a shitty situation.
mama2b3 20
First of all your husband sounds really immature. Second, over 40 kids!!? Holy crap!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (283)
thecovert 7
He could go to jail for that. He's an idiot.
NOUman1218 1
Have a nice day!
Elfsrock 4
This one actually made me laugh haha
bballforward33 10
Ya im sure ur seven year old son has 40 friggin friends. Ur a terrible parent and ur kid will turn out a disaster
Bluemonster3 26
It is quite funny ;P
alaskagrl19 1
Thats one way to clear an overwelming amount of kids out without a fuss.
jkhben 3
What a loser you married. Why would he want to make children sick. If I was one of those parents I would have him arrested, people like you shouldnt be allowed to have children.
dtemple1110 6
Wait, can't he get in trouble for like, poisoning them or something? Parents would be pissed! And how inconsiderate of him since you had to take care of them.
Pendragon525 0
What an asinine thing to do, especially to young children. Don't be surprised if you get sued...or have the cops called. I know if it were my kid, you'd have a lot of trouble on your hands.
Honda288 2
Your husband is a boss.