Today, my husband thought it would be "funny" to put laxatives in the cakes for my son's 7th birthday party. Over 40 kids came to the party. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I yelled at my spouse in front of 20 guests for not coming to blow out his birthday cake candles. Turns out he was in the other room, quietly changing his disabled friend's diaper. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I lit my birthday candles on the cake I made myself and blew them out alone, while my worthless husband sat on the couch stuffing Doritos in his face. My present? He sprayed Lysol in the bathroom after he took a dump. FML
Today, it was my boyfriend's 24th birthday. His friends were throwing him a surprise party and I was in charge of getting his birthday cake. As a joke, I got it in the shape of a penis, with a graphic marzipan design. Funny, I never knew his overly-conservative parents were invited. FML
Today, it was my son's fifth birthday. I asked my grandmother, who is a baker, to make a birthday cake for the party. Two hours after the party started, she arrived drunk with a large ham with candles in it. FML
Today, I'm a host at a restaurant. We had a birthday party for a couple of 15 year old boys and their friends. I went to clean the bathroom at the end of my shift and discovered cake everywhere, including all over the urinal. They were even nice enough to draw a smiley on the mirror with icing. FML
Today, as I'm 7 months pregnant and craving sweets, I helped myself to my MIL's birthday cake a little early. The family got so angry, they actually made me leave the party. My husband agreed with them. FML
Today, I had to call poison control because my idiot son swallowed a bunch of baking soda to "make a volcano in his tummy." FML
Today, at my 6-year-old son's birthday party, I had to explain to my boyfriend that it's not okay to use condoms as party balloons. FML
Today, my boyfriend made me a latte. It tasted off, but I didn't want to hurt his feelings so I drank it. Turns out he put laxatives in it as a prank. The idiot couldn’t just use one or two. He used so many that I had to go to the ER for severe dehydration after puking and shitting for hours. FML
Today, we were celebrating my birthday and my boyfriend thought it would be funny to shove my face in the cake. While the candles were still lit. FML
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Top comments
evnflr 7
Now that's a shitty situation.
mama2b3 20
First of all your husband sounds really immature. Second, over 40 kids!!? Holy crap!
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Comments (283)
msanch_4 5
"mommy i have too pee", along with the other 39 kids,
wtf4882 0
Now that's funny!!!!
CadyAsInKatie 8
Ass....
pokeroots 0
well it is pretty funny
ChrissybooJacob 0
That's illegal...putting any kind of drug in someone's food or drink can get you in SERIOUS trouble So if he gets arrested ask him....was it worth it?! :D
daniel1991 0
Well your husband thought right! xD
thespammer 1
YAY! POOPY SEX ORGY! <3 <3
AllyC1023 4
If I weren't mistaking, 224, I'm pretty sure 7 year old children don't know what an orgy is or what it even means. Unless there parents let em in on that kind of stuff..
AllyC1023 4
Tell him he gets to clean up the after mess.
Michaelmann_fml 3
I'd just like to say, just because she married him, doesnt show what type of woman she is, you don't know either of them, unless you have lived in a basement all of your life, I guarantee you've pulled a prank or made a mistake.
AJTheGiant 0
Funniest one yet. But I don't think your life sucks. I just think you had one incredibly shitty day.