Today, my husband thought it would be "funny" to put laxatives in the cakes for my son's 7th birthday party. Over 40 kids came to the party. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I yelled at my spouse in front of 20 guests for not coming to blow out his birthday cake candles. Turns out he was in the other room, quietly changing his disabled friend's diaper. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I lit my birthday candles on the cake I made myself and blew them out alone, while my worthless husband sat on the couch stuffing Doritos in his face. My present? He sprayed Lysol in the bathroom after he took a dump. FML
Today, it was my boyfriend's 24th birthday. His friends were throwing him a surprise party and I was in charge of getting his birthday cake. As a joke, I got it in the shape of a penis, with a graphic marzipan design. Funny, I never knew his overly-conservative parents were invited. FML
Today, it was my son's fifth birthday. I asked my grandmother, who is a baker, to make a birthday cake for the party. Two hours after the party started, she arrived drunk with a large ham with candles in it. FML
Today, I'm a host at a restaurant. We had a birthday party for a couple of 15 year old boys and their friends. I went to clean the bathroom at the end of my shift and discovered cake everywhere, including all over the urinal. They were even nice enough to draw a smiley on the mirror with icing. FML
Today, as I'm 7 months pregnant and craving sweets, I helped myself to my MIL's birthday cake a little early. The family got so angry, they actually made me leave the party. My husband agreed with them. FML
Today, I had to call poison control because my idiot son swallowed a bunch of baking soda to "make a volcano in his tummy." FML
Today, at my 6-year-old son's birthday party, I had to explain to my boyfriend that it's not okay to use condoms as party balloons. FML
Today, my boyfriend made me a latte. It tasted off, but I didn't want to hurt his feelings so I drank it. Turns out he put laxatives in it as a prank. The idiot couldn’t just use one or two. He used so many that I had to go to the ER for severe dehydration after puking and shitting for hours. FML
Today, we were celebrating my birthday and my boyfriend thought it would be funny to shove my face in the cake. While the candles were still lit. FML
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Top comments
evnflr 7
Now that's a shitty situation.
mama2b3 20
First of all your husband sounds really immature. Second, over 40 kids!!? Holy crap!
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Comments (283)
soffizzle1234 0
At least u got a popular kid...
Raaaaaa 3
Anyone, but children. Anyone, but your own 7-year-old son. I think there's a time and place for 'jokes' like that. I don't even think it's particularly funny in the first place, but hey.
mariaealvarez 1
What an idiot!
kalbrek009 20
What a jerk! Does he know he can go to jail for trying to do harm to minors? That's considered a form of assault/poisoning!
chuckcloninger 12
Your husband, apparently unknown to both you and he, could be arrested and charged with child endangerment and/or child abuse. And if he did it to my child I'd knock his block off first and make sure the DEFACS folks took this seriously. Your husband is an out of control immature jerk and if you want to include his name and where you live I'd be glad to contact law enforcement for you. How "funny" would he think that was do you suppose?
MikeHuntIsTight 0
So he basically druged a load of kids??
iameulogy 0
******* rofl that's so epic! fyl tho. kids shit enough as it is lmao
Colonel_Lexi 18
Are the children okay?
track96 4
I hope you know doing that is illegal.
Suekoff16 3
I gotta admit, this is pretty ******* funny