Love: Today, my husband drew a penis on every one of my cigarettes....

By Jenn P - 22/04/2012 03:15 - United States - Wichita Falls

Today, my husband drew a penis on every one of my cigarettes. It's a new pack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 966

You deserved it 70 615

Fête de la Musique: Notes et Négligences
When melodies meet misadventures, the Fête de la Musique becomes a symphony of laughter! More…

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Same thing different taste

By LizzyJones - 20/08/2013 17:38 - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, my husband bought me a present for our three year anniversary. It was a pack of 20 cigarettes. I don't smoke. He does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 180

You deserved it 8 985

It's the thought that counts

By sadwife - 31/05/2009 18:07 - United States

Today, I woke up and my husband said he got me a gift for our one year anniversary and that it was on the table. We laid around cuddling and when I finally got up I was expecting to walk out to beautiful bouquet of flowers. I got two packs of cigarettes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 656

You deserved it 10 749

By Anonymous - 25/06/2013 23:26 - United States

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to mow a penis into our lawn. I guess he forgot my parents are coming over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 858

You deserved it 5 350

By Pimp Daddy - 30/04/2017 20:00

Today, my husband put "sexual favors" on the memo line for my contractor's check. His wife saw it and he had to quit mid-job. I'm stuck with a half-finished house and my husband thinks it's funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 563

You deserved it 537

Caught in 4K

By tanksfan - 05/01/2010 05:55 - India

Today, after secretly smoking for more than two years, I decided to quit. I came home from work to see my wife holding a pack and asking me what was it doing behind the toilet seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 407

You deserved it 41 908

By fucker43 - 02/06/2013 06:11 - United States - Atlanta

Today, my friend made an effort to draw a penis on every page in my analysis textbook in pen. I have to return this tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 788

You deserved it 4 725

By Anonymous - 27/06/2015 04:17 - Canada - Barrie

Today, my husband ruined the laundry once again. He forgot to empty his pants pockets before washing them. Last time he left an ink pen in them. This time it was a strawberry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 258

You deserved it 2 613

By fububc - 05/02/2010 15:14 - France

Today, I went out for a smoke before dinner. I glanced through the window only to see my husband take my cooking scissors, cut his toe nails and then put them back in the utensils canister without washing them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 827

You deserved it 6 417

By stopinthenameoflove - 19/06/2014 14:37 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 085

You deserved it 15 424

By blushingbride - 09/02/2014 21:59 - United States - Alpharetta

Today, my husband decided to pick his nose out before he would kiss me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 364

You deserved it 4 444

furfantasies 0

Sunday 22 April 2012 8:15

Smoking is bad anyways

Chris122990 4

Sunday 22 April 2012 8:18

I think he's subtly asking for a *******.

Comments

guttedbrit 26

Monday 3 March 2014 22:27

Haha! What a guy

austin_hall29 9

Monday 16 June 2014 14:02

Don't smoke cigarettes, use an e-cig or something just not cigarettes

arrow007archer 19

Wednesday 18 June 2014 23:35

YDI for smoking

echosong 16

Monday 7 July 2014 7:05

YDI for smoking. My Mom, who used to be a smoker, died from lung cancer

bazookajoey 27

Tuesday 14 April 2015 4:34

If somebody wants to smoke that's their choice. I highly doubt every FML user is a non-smoker

unknown312 12

Thursday 17 September 2015 3:31

Well you shouldn't smoke

Cheeselover97 6

Thursday 12 November 2015 20:03

YDI. Smoking is a filthy habit. And an expensive one, too.

jbuckets_404 38

Thursday 17 December 2015 20:03

So the husband's bragging graphically that his manhood is only as big as a cigarette?

mylifesF 15

Sunday 27 December 2015 20:16

Hey any chance you'll quit now??

Sir_Mitchell15 14

Sunday 3 January 2016 9:32

YDI for smoking

Keywords

Singing Music Roommate Miscellaneous Embarrassing TV shows Relatable Dogs Animals Sports Weird AITA Cheating Love Death Annoying Awkward Family Doctor Health Work Capitalism Money Drunk Concert Friends Coworkers Pranks Intimacy Sextoys

The Top

Today, my phone cut out during a call for a job interview. I tried calling them back, but there was no answer. Later, I got an email from the interviewer, saying I was no longer being considered for the position due to my being "rude and unprofessional." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 869

You deserved it 157

Today, a man with one eye and a severely disfigured face accosted me at the grocery store. What started as a question about my shirt became an explanation for why he looks the way he does: He took a shotgun blast to the face. I didn't ask about or even draw attention to his appearance. Sweet dreams for me tonight! FML

I agree, your life sucks 370

You deserved it 78

The Top

Today, and for the past two weeks, I decided to try online gaming, as it's something I've never done before. I already have a creep stalking me because I mentioned I was single and he's a horny virgin. Remind me never to talk about my lack of love life online again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 826

You deserved it 1 183

Today, I arrived at work to find an email from the manager whom I had bought concert tickets from the night before. He said he had actually sold those tickets to someone else. He still expects to be paid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 816

You deserved it 2 403

Today, I was driving down the road at about 10pm, when the passenger in the car in front of me threw something out the window. The object flew towards and landed directly on my windshield. It was a condom. A used condom. It wasn't tied. Semen spreads out quite a bit when you're driving fast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 136 947

You deserved it 7 594

Today, I graduated with a CS degree and a certification in networking, only to make $12/hr. Guess some trade jobs are worthless now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 850

You deserved it 334

Today, I went to take my driver's test, and I did almost everything perfectly. The last thing was to back into a driveway. As I went to put my hand on the passenger seat to look over my shoulder, I got so nervous that I hit my instructor in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 673

You deserved it 3 624

Today, I woke up early in the morning when it was still dark to go off to work. I saw what looked like a piece of slime that my children would play with and went to pick it up. Nope. Turns out it was puppy shit. Wet, slimy puppy waste. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 168

You deserved it 1 788

Same thing different taste

It's the thought that counts

Caught in 4K

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