Miscellaneous: Today, my husband and kids celebrated my 50th birthday. I turned... - FML

By Anonymous - 22/07/2009 11:29 - Netherlands

Today, my husband and kids celebrated my 50th birthday. I turned 47. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 764

You deserved it 3 822

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Same thing different taste

By Chakkamofo - 01/02/2009 22:47 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My wife gave me a card saying "You made it to 36!". It's my 35th birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 001

You deserved it 2 453

By rene - 22/08/2011 16:46 - United States

Today, it was my birthday, and my kids gave me my car keys I had "lost" a week ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 873

You deserved it 3 366

By Anonymous - 19/11/2015 14:52 - United States - San Francisco

Today, it's my 30th birthday. My husband came home with a big case of beer for himself, then told me he didn't have time to get me a present because of work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 645

You deserved it 2 026

By you would - 04/03/2009 05:15 - United States

Today, my wife told me that she wanted a divorce. It is also my 39th birthday today. For my birthday present, she gave me a subscription to match.com. FML

I agree, your life sucks 140 944

You deserved it 7 654

By Jeri - 12/02/2010 08:41 - United States

Today, the day of my 29th birthday and two weeks after our 10th wedding anniversary, the only thing my husband got me for my birthday was divorce papers. Happy birthday, bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 653

You deserved it 4 944

Party!

By kelkline - 31/08/2009 16:45 - United States

Today, my friend got a babysitter for the kids and told me she was taking me to a party. My son told me his band was playing at a party. I will be 40 tomorrow, so I thought this would be the best surprise birthday party ever. It WAS a surprise birthday party – for a friend of ours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 075

You deserved it 3 526

It's the thought that counts

By Not a day over 35 - 18/06/2013 13:06 - United States - Anchorage

Today, I turned 29. To celebrate, my office got me a cake that read "Happy 38th!!" The "theme" of the "party" was 'Not a day over 35!' I waited all day for someone to tell me it was all a prank, but nobody did. I spent my lunch hour crying in my car. Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 673

You deserved it 5 829

By Birthday blues - 13/12/2018 22:00

Today, it's my birthday. I lit my birthday candles on the cake I made myself and blew them out alone, while my worthless husband sat on the couch stuffing Doritos in his face. My present? He sprayed Lysol in the bathroom after he took a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 025

You deserved it 590

Who are you?

By Boyufd - 19/06/2021 00:01

Today, it was my birthday. Also today, same as the past five years, my family forgot my mine and threw a party for my 5-year-old twin sisters who I share a birthday with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 054

You deserved it 87

Partyblocked

By story of my life - 07/03/2022 02:00

Today, it's my birthday. I'd asked my mom weeks ago if she could watch my kids, so my husband and I could go celebrate. She told me an hour before we were supposed to leave I'd have to reschedule, so she could watch my brother's kids while he goes out for fun. Gee, thanks mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 440

You deserved it 99

Next

Top comments

kira1kira 0

Wednesday 22 July 2009 21:17

dad:kids, tommorow is your mom's birthday! kid: how old is she? dad: .... other kid: she looks, like, 50. kid: yea let's go with that. dad: ok, sounds good

L0veh8te 0

Wednesday 22 July 2009 20:24

Happy 50th Bday

Comments

untoldfame 3

Wednesday 22 July 2009 20:38

family fail.

TattooedToDeath 0

Wednesday 22 July 2009 20:44

ULRICH VON LICHENSTEIN! sorry just had to :)

Stunt_fml 5

Wednesday 22 July 2009 20:47

Maybe they're going to go backwards from now on... so you'll die at "21" or something? 47 is a good time to lie and say you're 35 anyway, right?

tonton27_fml 0

Wednesday 22 July 2009 20:50

O.o Curious Case of Benjamin Button? 'Nuff said.

kirbz 0

Wednesday 22 July 2009 21:04

PWNED!

ohhhkay 0

Wednesday 22 July 2009 21:04

Everyone here will be 47 eventually. Stop hatin'.

Glam_fml 0

Wednesday 22 July 2009 21:14

Haha, wow. At least they remembered your birthday, even if they got your age wrong. Now you can hang this over their heads and get them to do extra housework, yardwork, etc.

DoomJeff91 2

Wednesday 22 July 2009 21:15

My kids invented a time machine and I want to complain. Wah Wah. FML.

AAAAHHHH12 2

Wednesday 22 July 2009 21:15

Well, did you tell them the truth? Or are they still insisting that you're 50?

The_Great_Zucchi 15

Wednesday 22 July 2009 21:16

Great idea for a practical joke! Thanks...

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The Top

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You deserved it 371

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 52 648

You deserved it 20 152

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I agree, your life sucks 47 611

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I agree, your life sucks 7 151

You deserved it 714

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I agree, your life sucks 18 492

You deserved it 4 506

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I agree, your life sucks 2 774

You deserved it 302

Today, I realized that I'm a terrible human being. For the first time in my life, I gave some change to a homeless guy, but only so he'd get out of my face long enough for me to watch two other bums beating the crap out of each other over a sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 455

You deserved it 34 624