Anonymous
Netherlands
Today, my husband and kids celebrated my 50th birthday. I turned 47. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
United States
I hate surprises
Today, my husband and kids apparently forgot my birthday. I was so happy at first because I have always hated my birthday, and thought it could just be another day on the calendar. No. They planned and threw a massive surprise party for me when I got home from work. FML
Anonymous
Here you go
Today, my husband served me divorce papers and an order to grant him temporary custody of our kids. Tomorrow is my birthday. FML
Anonymous
Lafayette, United States
Short Queen
Today, it's my 36th birthday. My boyfriend and I celebrated with a big group of our friends, our families, and their kids. Everyone there was taller than me, including my friend's 10 year-old son. FML
Chakkamofo
United States
Today, it's my birthday. My wife gave me a card that read, "You made it to 36!" It's my 35th birthday. FML
rene
United States
Today, it was my birthday, and my kids gave me my car keys I had "lost" a week ago. FML
Anonymous
San Francisco, United States
Today, it's my 30th birthday. My husband came home with a big case of beer for himself, then told me he didn't have time to get me a present because of work. FML
you would
United States
Today, my wife told me that she wanted a divorce. It is also my 39th birthday today. For my birthday present, she gave me a subscription to match.com. FML
Jeri
United States
Today, the day of my 29th birthday and two weeks after our 10th wedding anniversary, the only thing my husband got me for my birthday was divorce papers. Happy birthday, bitch. FML
Not a day over 35
Anchorage, United States
It's the thought that counts
Today, I turned 29. To celebrate, my office got me a cake that read "Happy 38th!!" The "theme" of the "party" was 'Not a day over 35!' I waited all day for someone to tell me it was all a prank, but nobody did. I spent my lunch hour crying in my car. Happy birthday to me. FML
Birthday blues
Today, it's my birthday. I lit my birthday candles on the cake I made myself and blew them out alone, while my worthless husband sat on the couch stuffing Doritos in his face. My present? He sprayed Lysol in the bathroom after he took a dump. FML
Top comments
kira1kira 0
dad:kids, tommorow is your mom's birthday! kid: how old is she? dad: .... other kid: she looks, like, 50. kid: yea let's go with that. dad: ok, sounds good
L0veh8te 0
Happy 50th Bday
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Comments (107)
Bradley_Dillon 39
set them straight, and beat them asses!
bleedingglitter 24
Maybe it was just a dry run to get the big 50 right? Idk in all seriousness I forget how old my mom is constantly.
Mcstud1y 30
It's the thought that counts
APHPrussia 19
If you aren't 5 years early, you're late.
GeorgiaBea 28
To be fair, I literally have no idea how old my parents are.
alerra 21
At least they remembered your birthday!