Today, I was having sex for the first time with a girl who wanted to be friends with benefits. Halfway through sex she noticed that I had the same tattoo as her brother, and had a full-on panic attack that lasted half-an-hour. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I went to get my first tattoo. Before we started, the tattooist told me to just relax and embrace the pain. I guess I did that too well; I kept getting an erection throughout. FML
Today, the girl I was going to hook up with took off her clothes and revealed she had an absolutely disturbing tattoo of a rotting zombie head on her lower stomach and groin, the idea being that during sex my penis would look like it was in the zombie's mouth. I couldn’t go through with it. FML
Today, I went to get a tattoo of my girlfriend's name to surprise her. Halfway through the tattooing, she called and broke up with me. FML
Today, I got my first tattoo. It was a surprise for my fiancé: our names together over a heart. I went home but before I could show him, he said we had to have a "talk." So now my ex's name is tattooed on my back. The kicker? Turns out I'm allergic to the ink. FML
Today, I was about to break up with my psycho girlfriend. As I sat her down, she told me she wanted to show me something. She then took off her shirt to reveal my name tattooed across her chest. FML
Today, my best friend and I, after years of sexual tension, began to have sex for the first time. Things got heated and he decided to abruptly stand up with me around him. I got so nervous, spazzed out, and now have 37 staples in my head courtesy of his bookshelf. FML
Today, in the middle of my boyfriend finally giving me an orgasm, I had an anxiety attack, which caused him to have an attack of his own. I guess there is such a thing as having too much in common with your partner. FML
Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML
Today, I was about to have sex with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my shirt off, she saw my chest acne. She ran out of my house and hasn't spoken to me in 5 hours. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML
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Top comments
davidpropert 32
Since she didn't notice the tattoo until during sex, is it weird she knows her brother has the same one?
Welshite 39
Your name wouldn't happen to be Joe Dirt, would it?
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Comments (129)
soccerstar1996 18
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
She sounds mentally unstable
jenevil27 9
for sure! A lot of people have the same tattoos!
mercifulbane 3
did the tattoo say "incest"?
Soniye 14
Doesn't matter still had sex.
isallwaysme 27
well that's why you dont get flash tattoos off of the wall, design your own tattoo
weepedrovski 11
WE GOT A RETARD ALERT
tinyrosie 21
#17 I just spit my drink all over my brother.
kievking 14
They need a new button as some of these fmls have gone a bit soft. A "man the **** up" is appropriate for this guy.
Riku714 25
"Mentally unstable" is a very strong choice of words. Most likely she has anxiety, which is more common than most people would think.
negb 30
I agree with 99. But I also think OP is probably exaggerating when he says "panic attack". I think any chick (myself included) would be a bit weirded out if you're having sex with a dude and during it, you notice the same tattoo. Especially if her brother has had that tattoo for quite some time.
BoltTheSuperdog 22
Well, "crazy in the head, crazy in the bed", right? BTW this is NOT how I think in real life; I just heard this on "Sullivan and Son".
VampOfSavannah 31
It sounds like she may be a victim of sexual abuse.
CerSpence 11
What on Earth would lead you to believe that?
SherlockWho 6
Sorry OP, she should have known somehow. FYL
ElricMustang 23
Oh, of course. The first question I would've asked would be, "Do you have a/n (insert tattoo here) tattoo on your (insert body part here)
Redgrass7 7
Should have known what?
Welshite 39
Your name wouldn't happen to be Joe Dirt, would it?
Dswank620 18
"I'm your sister, I'm your sister!"
sabrinalynn22 19
Exactly what I was thinking!
8313girl 28
And the FML audience goes EW!!! That cracked me up
davidpropert 32
Since she didn't notice the tattoo until during sex, is it weird she knows her brother has the same one?
SirMichael 13
Even if it's in the same place she lives with her brother or did at some point. It's quite likely that she's seen him atleast partially naked on accident or her brother might have shown off his tattoo to her.
VSVP_fml 6
I'm sure when her brother first got it, people wanted to see it or he was showing it off. it's probably on his chest or something.
Paradoxxxx 16
That's just awkward
TheDrifter 23
Sun tattoo around his belly button?
Mackay92 14
if someone notices anything else when you're having sex you're not good at pleasuring them
turtle713 3
I met a guy with one of those! Hilarious & unsexy on a straight man if you ask me.
Xalandra 17
78 if someone is naked and having sex with you, noticing something on your body doesn't mean you're not pleasuring them well. You're bringing your naked bodies together. I'm pretty sure they're gonna notice stuff about and on your body wether you're fully pleasing them or not.
noir_heart 8
I don't know about anyone else, but I automatically thought of sexual abuse. Sexual abuse happens most commonly between family members. And it seems quite likely if she had such a big panic attack over it.
Taylor000 16
Her brother could have it in a different place. Duh.
MrsDruidess 23
well did you finish? :-p
ryanthecheeseguy 18
I'm going to guess no, considering Op's partner had a 30 minute panic attack.
luckyone365 7
32: that doesn't mean he didn't finish
MortenM 17
Correct #53. OP was probably all done before her panic attack was over.
SJParker 13
Dammit, OP! We need to know!
jenevil27 9
That would creep me out a little bit, if it were in the same spot. but i wouldn't freak out. she needs to calm down!
Joshwarrior 39
This might not be an ideal friends with benefits relationship op.
jenevil27 9
Even if she still wants it to be, this should make him change his mind
MortenM 17
Don't get it #8 & #11. Why would OP want to stop a friends with benefit arrangement? The copycat tattoo is YDI tho.
jenevil27 9
because shes obviously a psycho, theres so many easy females out there he can easily find another FWB relationship whose not crazy.
TheComedyAudio 29
That's a sticky situation..
evan_7899 28
Hold on, there isn't even the right context to use that punn. Now its used so much that people are using it blindly, did you even read the FML?
mein_blut69 15
spoiler alert, the OP was in fact her brother.
happle 21
I think you mean "plot twist."
neuroticallyyour_fml 17
The psychologist in me says this might be an indication of trauma given the context the tattoo was revealed in. I can't see a whole lot of other reasons to be disturbed by two people having the same tattoo. Unless she's phobic about coincidences.
Freethaawave 19
It probably freaked her out cause shes having sex then suddenly her brother pops up in her head.
bayliebug 14
#52 Yeah, maybe. But random things have popped up in my head during sex. I've had to think about my parents (whether or not the sound I heard was one of them coming home, what they'd feel if they accidentally walked in). It didn't cause me to have a panic attack, though I do have a panic disorder. I just kept going and brought my mind back to what was happening at the time.
savysnugglebear 10
I'm studying to be a psychologist, and although you may be right..... I think she was just creeped out that they had the same tattoo. You don't always have to over think things.