Today, my son told me he and his ex deliberately got pregnant, despite being broken up, because she wanted a baby, he wanted sex, and she promised she wouldn’t ask him for child support. She must have had her fingers crossed because his court date is next week. Moron. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that my ex is expecting another kid. Not only is this a man who tried to hook up with me last month, he's also the one who, when I asked him to pay child support for our two, told me that he could just "make some more". Guess he was right. FML
Today, my boyfriend’s ex found out I was pregnant. Her logical response was to have her teenage sons jump him as he was coming home from work. Now we’re filling out a police report instead of our baby registry. FML
Today, my daughter took her ex to court for child support. After the judge was done, she ended up having to pay support to him, and since she was the one who took him to court just for money, her ex now hates her and will make sure to collect every penny he’s owed, even though she only works part time. FML
Today, my boyfriend got his ex pregnant. The same ex that he still lived with because he “wanted to wait until the lease is up.” He “swore to God” he didn’t see her romantically anymore. I feel dumb for giving him the benefit of the doubt. FML
Today, my daughter and her boyfriend deliberately got pregnant, because they found out if she claimed to be a single mom, she could get a council house and free benefits, and then just move him in with her. They're both 15. FML
Today, my wife somehow convinced a judge to force me to pay child support for a child that isn’t mine. I recently discovered our son was the result of an affair and not biologically mine, so I divorced her, but the judge is forcing me to keep supporting them financially. FML
Today, my daughter is such a greedy idiot. Her ex was voluntarily giving her over £1000 for the kid but she decided she wanted more, and dragged him to child support court. She’s now only getting about £500 and her ex, who formerly had a great relationship with her, now hates her guts. Idiot. FML
Today, I managed to get pregnant on purpose, in hopes to get my cheating boyfriend to stop seeing his side piece. Turns out he’s "not ready to be a dad" and prefers the homewrecking skank and left. Now I’m stuck with rent I can’t afford by myself, and a baby I don’t even want anymore. FML
Today, despite my warnings, my mother continues to go see my ex's son and encourage her to get more child support from me. They both say that because I signed the birth certificate, that makes that baby mine. I don't think he is, and I'm currently with someone else, with my first real son on the way. FML
Today, my idiot daughter is sat next to me crying because she took her ex to court for child support, convinced she was gonna get paid, even though her kids live with their dad full time. Now she's paying HIM child support and can’t afford her flat anymore, so she wants to move in with me. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
You've raised a stupid, gullible man.
mike3775 39
Your son is the biggest idiot. 1). I’ve never, ever had sex with an ex. When it’s over, it’s over to me. 2). While I was still dating my wife, if I ever thought it was going to result in sex, I made sure to,have protection, even if she said she was on the pill, and 3) I never ever would trust a woman when she says she won’t come after me for money, and even if she doesn’t go after it, the state will, if she ever files for any sort of benefits, as she will have to state dad’s name
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Comments (5)
RichardPencil 32
You've raised a stupid, gullible man.
FluffythePink 24
My sympathies. Your son is indeed a complete and utter moron. You could try again with a new sibling for him?
mike3775 39
Your son is the biggest idiot. 1). I’ve never, ever had sex with an ex. When it’s over, it’s over to me. 2). While I was still dating my wife, if I ever thought it was going to result in sex, I made sure to,have protection, even if she said she was on the pill, and 3) I never ever would trust a woman when she says she won’t come after me for money, and even if she doesn’t go after it, the state will, if she ever files for any sort of benefits, as she will have to state dad’s name
Diagoras0fMelos 1
Tell him about estoppel.
Hangryko 32
Does your stupid son not believe in condoms?