Today, my husband and I were getting frisky. All was going well until I decided to go down on him, causing him to freak out, thinking I was going for his butt, ending the night with a black eye from being knee'd in the face. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my husband, and I tried to do a swift position-change like they do in the movies. I wound up flipping off the bed and busting my nose open on the floor. FML
Today, in the middle of sex, my husband accidentally headbutted me, almost knocking me unconscious. FML
Today, while having sex with my husband, he accidentally elbowed me in the face. I don't know which is worse: that he didn't stop to see if I was OK, or that it seemed to turn him on and he climaxed immediately after he'd hit me. FML
Today, I tried to be cute by sitting on top of my boyfriend's belly. While getting on top, I accidentally kneed him in his nuts. In pain, he jolted his head up and ended up banging his head against mine. Now I have a black eye and he can't walk without waddling. FML
Today, I was having sex with my partner and we got very into it. I went to wrap my hand around his neck and somehow accidentally poked my finger in his eye socket so hard he ended up in emergency. He still can’t see properly out of that eye now. FML
Today, my husband thought it would be romantic to pick me up and fall on the bed with me while we were kissing. Our faces smashed together as we hit the bed, and my tongue is still bleeding on and off. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He was about to make me come so I lifted my arm above my head with pleasure. I accidently punched him in the eye, hard enough that he had to stop for a while because he said he felt dizzy. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight. Once we were cool, we decided to have makeup sex. I tried to change position so we could 69, but I then accidently kicked him in the head. He thinks I did it on purpose. FML
Today, I was with my boyfriend, and we started to get a little kinky. He laid me down roughly on the bed, but I started to slide off, so I pulled myself up. In doing so, I managed to knee him in the nut-sack, causing him to puke. FML
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Top comments
MagnusDeus 24
Seems a little harsh to knee your wife in the face. Even if it was almost butt penetration.
Sandsh8rk 36
I guess he really didn't want to do it in the butt, in the butt.
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Comments (100)
cuponator3000 11
Sorry to hear that op! I have been on both ends of something like that so I feel for you. haha I guess communication is key.
NakedandAfraid 14
ugh men are such babies when it comes to their butts even if you were going for his butt wtf is he so afraid of ???
HighlandShadows 48
Everybody is entitled to a preference. If a guy or a girl isn't into a certain act they shouldn't be forced into it, nor should they be ridiculed for not wanting to engage in it.
Benderama 8
What a prude, so what if she was going for the butt, just roll with it
vikky538 29
Were you going in circles while going down on him??
dragoongirl90 34
What the ****?
cnbcad 15
You must not go down very often if that is what he immediately thought of. Shame on you.
quackImapenguin 16
******** are not an entitlement. No one should be shamed for not wanting a dick shoved down their throat.
ArmchairAnalyst 9
No, sorry. They are mandatory.
DoomedGemini 38
No, they really aren't. If someone doesn't like something, they don't have to do it. How is it that things like that are 'mandatory' for women, but I bet most men would flip if a woman demanded they take it up the ass or have a dick in their mouth. You don't have a right either way, but you definitely don't have any right to demand your partner do something that you wouldn't want to do.
cnbcad 15
The number one reason men go outside the marriage is a wife that won't do oral. My marriage was important enough to me to do anything that was that important to her. That said, my comment was meant to be somewhat tongue in cheek.
captainsmegma 12
What do you do to the poor man's butt to make him go ape shit?
hgp285 16
This is the problem with straight men. Smh
Glynnis62 13
Well this isn't something you hear every day...
Witchylady 18
Why would you go for his butt? What weird **** movies has he been watching?