Today, my husband and I were getting frisky. All was going well until I decided to go down on him, causing him to freak out, thinking I was going for his butt, ending the night with a black eye from being knee'd in the face. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my husband, and I tried to do a swift position-change like they do in the movies. I wound up flipping off the bed and busting my nose open on the floor. FML
Today, in the middle of sex, my husband accidentally headbutted me, almost knocking me unconscious. FML
Today, while having sex with my husband, he accidentally elbowed me in the face. I don't know which is worse: that he didn't stop to see if I was OK, or that it seemed to turn him on and he climaxed immediately after he'd hit me. FML
Today, I tried to be cute by sitting on top of my boyfriend's belly. While getting on top, I accidentally kneed him in his nuts. In pain, he jolted his head up and ended up banging his head against mine. Now I have a black eye and he can't walk without waddling. FML
Today, I was having sex with my partner and we got very into it. I went to wrap my hand around his neck and somehow accidentally poked my finger in his eye socket so hard he ended up in emergency. He still can’t see properly out of that eye now. FML
Today, my husband thought it would be romantic to pick me up and fall on the bed with me while we were kissing. Our faces smashed together as we hit the bed, and my tongue is still bleeding on and off. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He was about to make me come so I lifted my arm above my head with pleasure. I accidently punched him in the eye, hard enough that he had to stop for a while because he said he felt dizzy. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight. Once we were cool, we decided to have makeup sex. I tried to change position so we could 69, but I then accidently kicked him in the head. He thinks I did it on purpose. FML
Today, I was with my boyfriend, and we started to get a little kinky. He laid me down roughly on the bed, but I started to slide off, so I pulled myself up. In doing so, I managed to knee him in the nut-sack, causing him to puke. FML
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Top comments
MagnusDeus 24
Seems a little harsh to knee your wife in the face. Even if it was almost butt penetration.
Sandsh8rk 36
I guess he really didn't want to do it in the butt, in the butt.
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Comments (100)
Tyguy823 14
What does op mean? Stupid question I know but still
Xion0014 20
Hes missing out, theres nothing wrong with a little rim job!
arkh_angel 16
Next time tie him to the bed!
scrollingthru 10
Is he afraid of you touching his ass? Or was it the thought of a "rim job"? lol either way sounds wierd like maybe he had a bad experience with someone messing with his butthole.
atiggerx33 6
Ok, why would he think you'd do that? I mean your married, you know what the other is into, so why would he think, despite you knowing that's not his thing, that you'd force it on him? Sounds like he needs serious help if he's willing to knee his wife in the face because he's paranoid about something she's never tried to force on him. And if you have tried to force it on him... well then shame on you OP you'd deserve a knee to the face (nothing wrong with a dude wanting to try butt stuff, or a wife suggesting they try it to see if he likes it, it is extremely wrong however for anybody to attempt to force someone to do something they're sexually uncomfortable with).
becca_banana 9
I was going to make an anal joke. Butt **** it.
xoLali_ 4
maybe they mess around a lot and she pretends to go for his ass when they play fight. that's what I would think. easy way for him to stop and give up a fight. lol
The_Khan 12
Donno why he would be with a woman, and when she starts moving South he would go "Not my butt !" Im no psychologist (though I like to pretend to be), but this man might have some issues. I prescribe some sexual healing. Near the butt. :p
drivingmoleman 3
I guess he is not into butt stuff :)
PrettyLilRedbone 8
Do you normally go for his butt? Lmfaoo.