Today, my husband and I were getting frisky. All was going well until I decided to go down on him, causing him to freak out, thinking I was going for his butt, ending the night with a black eye from being knee'd in the face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my husband, and I tried to do a swift position-change like they do in the movies. I wound up flipping off the bed and busting my nose open on the floor. FML
Today, in the middle of sex, my husband accidentally headbutted me, almost knocking me unconscious. FML
Today, while having sex with my husband, he accidentally elbowed me in the face. I don't know which is worse: that he didn't stop to see if I was OK, or that it seemed to turn him on and he climaxed immediately after he'd hit me. FML
Today, I tried to be cute by sitting on top of my boyfriend's belly. While getting on top, I accidentally kneed him in his nuts. In pain, he jolted his head up and ended up banging his head against mine. Now I have a black eye and he can't walk without waddling. FML
Today, I was having sex with my partner and we got very into it. I went to wrap my hand around his neck and somehow accidentally poked my finger in his eye socket so hard he ended up in emergency. He still can’t see properly out of that eye now. FML
Today, my husband thought it would be romantic to pick me up and fall on the bed with me while we were kissing. Our faces smashed together as we hit the bed, and my tongue is still bleeding on and off. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He was about to make me come so I lifted my arm above my head with pleasure. I accidently punched him in the eye, hard enough that he had to stop for a while because he said he felt dizzy. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight. Once we were cool, we decided to have makeup sex. I tried to change position so we could 69, but I then accidently kicked him in the head. He thinks I did it on purpose. FML
Today, I was with my boyfriend, and we started to get a little kinky. He laid me down roughly on the bed, but I started to slide off, so I pulled myself up. In doing so, I managed to knee him in the nut-sack, causing him to puke. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
MagnusDeus 24
Seems a little harsh to knee your wife in the face. Even if it was almost butt penetration.
Sandsh8rk 36
I guess he really didn't want to do it in the butt, in the butt.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (100)
acertwo 17
He must have had a real bad experience with butt stuf
JebMcdeber 11
Sounds like he's had some bad experiences! Stop surprising him with buttsecks, lady! Or at least use more lube.
Marchaleigh 9
if he freaked out that badly it sounds like you might better talk to him for real in case something happened to him as a child or something
HylianTwilight 21
I'm still wondering how he had this bad of a reaction. It sounds like you were facing his front, so I'm not sure how he thought any anal stimulation was on your mind, OP. I do have an idea though, but it might not be the right one. Maybe OP's hands were sliding down his sides as she went down, and maybe a bit too close to his ass for comfort, to trigger his fears. Makes me wonder if he went through a rough experience like other comments said. Hope OP will respond!
nordbord 5
HAHAH
phantomlady 4
I could see my husband doing this to me! he's very self conscious about his butt hole.
8djht8 19
get him passed out and rip his butthole hairs out with your teeth
shotgun_girl 17
What the ****?!
PrettyLilRedbone 8
Damn. You got him paranoid. What did you do to him? Lmfaoo.
Carlimited 1
you need a new guy-that feels awesome!!!
gobblepuss 3
I guess a slag deserves a black eye.