Love: Today, this beautiful girl that I've known for a long time told...

By Anonymous - 04/01/2016 15:14 - United States - Dalton

Today, this beautiful girl that I've known for a long time told me that she just can't date me anymore because I remind her too much of her cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 415

You deserved it 1 903

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Same thing different taste

By Jack - 10/01/2016 02:07 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, after dating my girlfriend for a while, I had a realization. She often says things like, "You're my favorite!" and scratches my beard, which I appreciated affectionately. Upon meeting her pets, it dawned on me that I am just another one of her cats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 640

You deserved it 2 507

Differences

By Alone - 21/05/2014 11:05 - United States - Washington

Today, I finally had a date, my first one in well over a year. Everything was going good, until my date asked, "Do you like cats or dogs better?" When I responded cats, my date promptly got up and left, saying, "This isn't meant to be." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 400

You deserved it 12 887

Backhanded

By johnny - 05/06/2023 22:00 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, I asked my girlfriend what she thought of a certain plus-sized vocalist, to which she replied, "She's gorgeous!" I said, "That's great because you remind me a lot of her." Now she's not talking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 370

You deserved it 843

By CatLover<3 - 18/06/2013 23:27 - United States - Cibolo

Today, I tried to explain to my cat why I was single, but then I realized why. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 518

You deserved it 21 922

Circle of love

By HellaBomber91 - 05/12/2009 19:14 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of two months broke up with me because she said I remind her too much of her first boyfriend and it creeps her out. I've checked with all of her friends and family. I'm her first boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 815

You deserved it 3 266

Good boy, best boy

By Anonymous - 20/07/2020 14:01

Today, I realised that I have a better relationship with my cat than I do with my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 201

You deserved it 404

By fmlsrsly - 25/03/2009 16:43 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor to find out why I've been feeling so sick the past several weeks. Turns out, I'm severely allergic to the cat of my girlfriend of two years. I told her "It's me or the cat." She chose the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 435

You deserved it 30 262

By achoooo - 07/11/2009 05:34 - United States

Today, to celebrate moving into a new apartment, my girlfriend decided she would get a kitten. She didn't know I'm allergic to cats. When I told her, she decided that she couldn't date someone who couldn't be around her cat; the one she doesn't have yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 426

You deserved it 3 011

By AngryBirdman - 22/04/2011 05:53

Today, my girlfriend told me she is only going out with me because I look like the person she really wants to go out with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 268

You deserved it 3 684

By Anonymous - 07/12/2018 07:30 - United States - Rockville Centre

Today, my girlfriend of 3 months broke up with me via text and said she was keeping the cat. I've had the cat since for seven years since she was a kitten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 353

You deserved it 228

snowkittyyy 18

Monday 4 January 2016 23:36

Do...you meow? O.o did you ask why she thought that?

jake_braves 25

Monday 4 January 2016 23:41

So petzoned is the new thing now huh..

Comments

snowkittyyy 18

Monday 4 January 2016 23:36

Do...you meow? O.o did you ask why she thought that?

Lars93 18

Tuesday 5 January 2016 0:35

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

crudeandrudeguy 29

Tuesday 5 January 2016 0:41

If you have to explain the joke then it's a shitty joke

crudeandrudeguy 29

Tuesday 5 January 2016 0:42

If you have to explain the joke then it's a shitty joke

XxDanno316xX 27

Tuesday 5 January 2016 0:50

We got it the first time mate. :)

zach205 24

Tuesday 5 January 2016 6:16

I'm sure some people need a 2nd time before they get it

crudeandrudeguy 29

Saturday 9 January 2016 20:16

I only posted it once "mate". FML does that sometimes

_delusions_ 15

Monday 4 January 2016 23:38

Guess its time to start acting like a dog. Juust kidding. That is odd and I dont see why being a human version of a cat is a bad thing but oh well.

Flowtastic 16

Tuesday 5 January 2016 1:04

You've never had a cat shove their butthole in your face for affection I take it....

Dark_Cecilia 20

Monday 4 January 2016 23:38

How does that even happen?

joeyl2008 29

Tuesday 5 January 2016 2:54

Maybe they are Catkin

Imhere4fml 24

Monday 4 January 2016 23:39

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

Railroader 16

Monday 4 January 2016 23:40

So she thinks you are pussy?

jake_braves 25

Monday 4 January 2016 23:41

So petzoned is the new thing now huh..

jake_braves 25

Monday 4 January 2016 23:42

Perhaps you are a lazy pussy that feels entitled to everything...nah.

Pingvinai 37

Wednesday 6 January 2016 5:31

Should've left at your peak, man.

cacheson 41

Monday 4 January 2016 23:42

Just explain you can be superheroes together. Cat woman and cat man.

FryingPanHero 11

Monday 4 January 2016 23:43

You truly are the cat's meow!

ezrocks4u 29

Monday 4 January 2016 23:43

...did she ever scratch you behind the ear? Do you enjoy long naps and tuna? :3

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The Top

Today, I asked out a girl I’ve been hanging out with for a few months. She said, “That’s kind of gross.” When I asked her about, it she said, “My friends will think you’re creepy” followed by, “You’re not actually a creep, they say you look like one.” I groom myself every day like a normal person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 96

Today, I did an actual double take when my son complained about having to block the phone number of his most recent one-night stand when she got pregnant, but luckily he gave her a fake name, so he doesn’t have to delete his Facebook. How many grandkids do I have out there you little prick? FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 520

You deserved it 642

The Top

Today, my friend brought four full grown hemp plants home. They cost $100 a pop; meanwhile he still owes $25 from a Lyft ride he claims he can’t pay back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 711

You deserved it 128

Today, I had my first conversation with someone on a dating site. “I’m trying to get to know you.… so, are you a big girl? I haven’t really been able to look at your profile.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 924

You deserved it 203

Today, I discovered that my dishwasher has a filter. I cleaned out food from it that has never been in my kitchen since I moved in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 846

You deserved it 328

Today, my grandpa pointed me out to one of his friends, saying, "Yeah, she's the ugly one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 324

You deserved it 4 374

Today, I learned that despite having told them two years ago, my parents still aren't accepting of me being gay. I found this out when my mom called and asked if I was "cured" yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 340

You deserved it 5 479

Today, I was having sex with a girl. She was really into it and not holding back on the noise...That is, until I received a text message from my little sister next door reading "If she is making that much noise, she is probably faking it...Trust me, I know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 526

You deserved it 13 633

Same thing different taste

Differences

Backhanded

Circle of love

Good boy, best boy

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