Today, my husband and I were getting frisky. All was going well until I decided to go down on him, causing him to freak out, thinking I was going for his butt, ending the night with a black eye from being knee'd in the face. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my husband, and I tried to do a swift position-change like they do in the movies. I wound up flipping off the bed and busting my nose open on the floor. FML
Today, in the middle of sex, my husband accidentally headbutted me, almost knocking me unconscious. FML
Today, while having sex with my husband, he accidentally elbowed me in the face. I don't know which is worse: that he didn't stop to see if I was OK, or that it seemed to turn him on and he climaxed immediately after he'd hit me. FML
Today, I tried to be cute by sitting on top of my boyfriend's belly. While getting on top, I accidentally kneed him in his nuts. In pain, he jolted his head up and ended up banging his head against mine. Now I have a black eye and he can't walk without waddling. FML
Today, I was having sex with my partner and we got very into it. I went to wrap my hand around his neck and somehow accidentally poked my finger in his eye socket so hard he ended up in emergency. He still can’t see properly out of that eye now. FML
Today, my husband thought it would be romantic to pick me up and fall on the bed with me while we were kissing. Our faces smashed together as we hit the bed, and my tongue is still bleeding on and off. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He was about to make me come so I lifted my arm above my head with pleasure. I accidently punched him in the eye, hard enough that he had to stop for a while because he said he felt dizzy. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight. Once we were cool, we decided to have makeup sex. I tried to change position so we could 69, but I then accidently kicked him in the head. He thinks I did it on purpose. FML
Today, I was with my boyfriend, and we started to get a little kinky. He laid me down roughly on the bed, but I started to slide off, so I pulled myself up. In doing so, I managed to knee him in the nut-sack, causing him to puke. FML
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Top comments
MagnusDeus 24
Seems a little harsh to knee your wife in the face. Even if it was almost butt penetration.
Sandsh8rk 36
I guess he really didn't want to do it in the butt, in the butt.
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Comments (100)
gobblepuss 3
Eeew. Too much info ho
ChloeKissyface44 9
What a spaz why would he assume that??
4everBroken 13
What.... That makes no sense.... Why would you go for his butt lol and that's a big reaction I mean you are married he could just say "please don't touch my butt" lol
rylowsgirl 9
since you said husband I assume you've been together a while. so for him to get that scared, just how many times have you tried to sneak attack his asshole? lol
zoelog 10
I'm not getting this. have you never given him a bj? and kneeing you in the face seems rather extreme.