Today, my hay-fever started. I'm five months pregnant, and every time I cough, sneeze or blow my nose I either fart or wet myself. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I sneezed so hard, I farted. During my vaccine appointment. I hate hayfever. FML
Today, I have to deliver a wedding speech. I also have a cold. That would be bad enough, but ever since I was a kid, if I cough or sneeze, I also fart. FML
Today, I was at a party at my boyfriend's house. As I was walking past him, he pulled me onto his lap and started introducing me to a childhood friend. I sneezed and accidently peed on him. I'm 6 months pregnant and can't control my bladder. FML
Today, due to my allergies I can't stop sneezing. It wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for my hemorrhoids making each sneeze feel like I'm getting a cactus shoved up my ass. FML
Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML
Today, I am 8 weeks pregnant. I have debilitating 'morning sickness' all day. And now I get to add peeing my pants every time I throw up. FML
Today, they're pumping out the septic system in the building next door. I'm three months pregnant, suffering from morning sickness, and can smell everything within a three-mile radius. FML
Today, it's my wedding day. It was meant to be perfect. The bouquet, along with a high pollen count, set my hay fever off. I walked down the aisle in front of 200 people with streaming eyes and a runny nose; I then had a sneezing fit during my vows and blew a large snot bubble. Real attractive. FML
Today, I suffered an uncontrollable sneezing attack. I have the runs. It wasn't exactly as bad as I'd have expected. Just a lot worse. FML
Today, I was on my way to work. Out of nowhere, my period started. Due to allergies, I had uncontrollable sneezes. Now, I have blood all over my pants. FML
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Top comments
jtthegr8 26
Start wearing a diaper?
CbDemyx 1
At least it's one or the other and not both.
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Comments (121)
MigraineurOfLife 15
Ahhh... The joys of pregnancy. Don't worry, in the next couple of months you'll have a full sized baby camped out on your bladder. You'll no longer need to sneeze for the same effect!
Taymah49 7
So have you brought the poise yet, since you leak?
southerngirl05 3
Feel ur pain i just came down with the allergies/almost sinus infection & im 3 months! Get well soon! And congrats
glamorous18 10
it honestly gets worse.
bizarre_ftw 22
Why?! Why would That be the First piece of advice you have for this poor woman?
TopGirl_fml 4
Awwww I feel for you. But I promise you it will be completely worth it once you have your kid :)
skyeyez9 25
Start wearing maxi pads to absorb the (hopefully) small amount of pee leaked. You don't empty your entire bladder I hope.
magnusb1 1
YDI for bringing a child into this ****** world!
MissHayleyJames 7
Hopefully for all our sake, you take your own advice and don't reproduce. Now, go do some homework or something kid.
Rocky007 15
It's good practice for when you hit 50.
tiffylovesaubree 0
I have been there honey it suck but it could be a lot worse you know good luck
LSF_fml 0
Thts freakin funny