Today, my hay-fever started. I'm five months pregnant, and every time I cough, sneeze or blow my nose I either fart or wet myself. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I sneezed so hard, I farted. During my vaccine appointment. I hate hayfever. FML
Today, I have to deliver a wedding speech. I also have a cold. That would be bad enough, but ever since I was a kid, if I cough or sneeze, I also fart. FML
Today, I was at a party at my boyfriend's house. As I was walking past him, he pulled me onto his lap and started introducing me to a childhood friend. I sneezed and accidently peed on him. I'm 6 months pregnant and can't control my bladder. FML
Today, due to my allergies I can't stop sneezing. It wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for my hemorrhoids making each sneeze feel like I'm getting a cactus shoved up my ass. FML
Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML
Today, I am 8 weeks pregnant. I have debilitating 'morning sickness' all day. And now I get to add peeing my pants every time I throw up. FML
Today, they're pumping out the septic system in the building next door. I'm three months pregnant, suffering from morning sickness, and can smell everything within a three-mile radius. FML
Today, it's my wedding day. It was meant to be perfect. The bouquet, along with a high pollen count, set my hay fever off. I walked down the aisle in front of 200 people with streaming eyes and a runny nose; I then had a sneezing fit during my vows and blew a large snot bubble. Real attractive. FML
Today, I suffered an uncontrollable sneezing attack. I have the runs. It wasn't exactly as bad as I'd have expected. Just a lot worse. FML
Today, I was on my way to work. Out of nowhere, my period started. Due to allergies, I had uncontrollable sneezes. Now, I have blood all over my pants. FML
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Top comments
jtthegr8 26
Start wearing a diaper?
CbDemyx 1
At least it's one or the other and not both.
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Comments (121)
nickharbut 6
Well shit. That sucks. Good to know that a beautiful thing comes at the end though! :)
rogerover 19
Your husband must be laughing a lot!
apepe78 1
I feel your pain! When I was pregnant, and was sick at the same time, I had to wear a maxi pad :( I hope that you get better soon.
hellbilly205 17
Well that seems like a bit of dillema there OP...
kkillaj 5
Don't be to pissed off about it itl be ovaryal soon
DarkHelmet 10
I wanted to say something comforting but couldn't stop laughing at your misfortune to type it out
Torva_fml 16
So you typed this shit instead?
peterlikes 3
Maybe you should take some rectal suppositories!
Valdrek 26
Sounds like more of an FML for the father tee her c:
Wakka_fml 0
Maybe if you sneeze hard enough you'll go into labor?...
RodderstheLegend 5
Just like my grandma..minus the pregnancy. Dirty old bitch.
IStoleTheCookies 16
Omg LOL. That's harsh but, I know exactly how you feel. My great-nan is an evil old boot, doesn't wash either and always stands up and farts and acts like she hasn't done anything!