Today, I found out that my boyfriend thinks brushing his teeth is unnecessary, because, "the world is going to end because of climate change anyway." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend told me he thinks brushing his teeth and doing anything basically hygienic is unnecessary now, because, "we're all going to die out around about 2050 anyway." FML
Today, my boyfriend thinks he's discovered a big conspiracy by dentists to sell toothpaste. He's arguing that nobody needs to brush their teeth, ever, because all the "new plaque" from food will dissolve the "old plaque", and the only thing he needs to use is breath spray. FML
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why chewing "shit-tons of gum" is not an actual alternative to brushing his teeth. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were kissing. Halfway through the kiss, he rubs his tongue along all my teeth and says, "You need to brush your teeth." FML
Today, my boyfriend admitted that he stopped brushing his teeth two days after we started dating. Tomorrow is our 2 year anniversary. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he hasn't been to the dentist in two years and definitely doesn't plan on it because, "That's just how the government steals more money." FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend doesn’t think it’s important to wipe after he poops. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't like cuddling in bed because he hates rebreathing his own carbon dioxide. FML
Today, I’ve discovered that even if he brushes his teeth for 10 minutes straight, flosses, and rinses with mouthwash, my boyfriend’s breath still smells like a cross between sewage and rotting fish. I’m running out of excuses for not kissing him. FML
Today, I had a long conversation with my fiancé about how smoking menthol cigarettes is not a substitute for brushing your teeth. He still isn't convinced. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Tell him the Green New Deal does not refer to tooth color.
manb91gb 15
It's okay, giving ******** and having sex is also unnecessary under this argument. You win.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (13)
RichardPencil 32
Tell him the Green New Deal does not refer to tooth color.
Aphrodite 20
😂😂😂😂😂😂
EmDizzle2007 28
hopefully, he's wrong..... hopefully.
xnider 5
how did you even accept him as your boyfriend?
bloopaloop 27
Actually life will cease when tectonic churning sequesters all carbon underground. Seriously, look it up.
manb91gb 15
It's okay, giving ******** and having sex is also unnecessary under this argument. You win.
tounces7 28
Actually that would be even more reason to do that. If the world is ending, why not enjoy yourself as much as possible before it does?
alwaysme28 8
your boyfriend is disgusting, I just hope you do know that.
Oley 27
Your boyfriend should probably stop being friends with Al Gore
Amanda Jaworski 23
Well duh, that’s like 4 extra minutes a day that he can game until the world ultimately ends!
Bubbilility 27
That's some next level 'acceptance' right there.
Dane Broussard 6
poor thing your boyfriend is retarded