Today, my hay-fever started. I'm five months pregnant, and every time I cough, sneeze or blow my nose I either fart or wet myself. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I sneezed so hard, I farted. During my vaccine appointment. I hate hayfever. FML
Today, I have to deliver a wedding speech. I also have a cold. That would be bad enough, but ever since I was a kid, if I cough or sneeze, I also fart. FML
Today, I was at a party at my boyfriend's house. As I was walking past him, he pulled me onto his lap and started introducing me to a childhood friend. I sneezed and accidently peed on him. I'm 6 months pregnant and can't control my bladder. FML
Today, due to my allergies I can't stop sneezing. It wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for my hemorrhoids making each sneeze feel like I'm getting a cactus shoved up my ass. FML
Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML
Today, I am 8 weeks pregnant. I have debilitating 'morning sickness' all day. And now I get to add peeing my pants every time I throw up. FML
Today, they're pumping out the septic system in the building next door. I'm three months pregnant, suffering from morning sickness, and can smell everything within a three-mile radius. FML
Today, it's my wedding day. It was meant to be perfect. The bouquet, along with a high pollen count, set my hay fever off. I walked down the aisle in front of 200 people with streaming eyes and a runny nose; I then had a sneezing fit during my vows and blew a large snot bubble. Real attractive. FML
Today, I suffered an uncontrollable sneezing attack. I have the runs. It wasn't exactly as bad as I'd have expected. Just a lot worse. FML
Today, I was on my way to work. Out of nowhere, my period started. Due to allergies, I had uncontrollable sneezes. Now, I have blood all over my pants. FML
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Top comments
jtthegr8 26
Start wearing a diaper?
CbDemyx 1
At least it's one or the other and not both.
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Comments (121)
Tamz13 2
Ugh. Soooo sorry. At least the pollen thing will hopefully die off in a few more weeks. : (
xplainphrox 8
It's called kegal exercises!! It tightens your urine muscles... Look it up online.
Epickitty58 29
Thumbs-down on the wrong comment . . . Sorry.
Ks22 4
If your wetting yourself at only five months pregnant there is something wrong don't blame being pregnant. Go get a diaper an do some keegals
lunaC 2
At least u an get pregnant! There are many women who would 'suffer' ur problems just to have a child!
CourtCourtb 0
I'm so sorry :( I had the same issues with wetting myself when I was pregnant. I can't speak for ALL women after giving birth, but after doing Kegel exercises and exercising after the birth, wetting myself was never an issue. Hope the same happens for you! :)
Calyx_fml 22
One word... kegels.
KiddNYC1O 22
Triple kill.
clm123455 14
Oh gosh, please let it be a fart.
mrnuleef 7
Im actually a new dad, so i do vicariously know what youre going thru. Just remember that when you first hold your baby you'll forget about it all! But for now, FYL
dawsonsgurl8126 1
I know the feeling! Just had a baby 8 weeks ago and unfortunately still have that problem'