Today, my grandmother saw me for the first time in years. "Not all your clothes have to be as tight as condoms, you tramp," is probably the nicest greeting she's ever given me. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I found out my grandmother doesn't wear underwear when she bent over in front of me in her inappropriately short nightgown. FML
Today, I saw my 89 year-old grandmother naked. She just moved in with us and apparently, she has an "open door policy." FML
Today, we spent the day with my grandmother. During a family conversation, my sweet little grandmother looked me up and down, and without any hesitation said, "I remember you being so beautiful," before looking at my mother, mouthing, "What happened?" and laughing. She's 87. FML
Today, we had my grandmother with dementia round for tea. She looked me up and down and said, very matter-of-factly, "Well, with a figure like that, no one will rape you." FML
Today, my grandmother gave me a huge speech on being abstinent until marriage. Being the honest person that I am, I told her I wasn't a virgin anymore. Instead of being mad and telling me I was going to hell. She asked me what my favourite things to do sexually were. And told me hers in detail. FML
Today, my grandmother refused to wear clothes. FML
Today, some idiot introduced my grandmother to yoga pants. FML
Today, my grandma was leaning over in front of me, vacuuming, while wearing a V-neck shirt. Out of instinct, I glanced at her chest. She's 75. I checked out my 75 year-old grandma. FML
Today, I took my grandma to the hospital to visit her estranged husband who she hasn't seen in years. After a thoroughly disasterous visit, we're waiting in the carpark and my gran strokes my face and tells me I have a lot of facial hair. I thought she was going to thank me. And I'm a girl. FML
Today, my grandmother ripped her pants. We all got a big view of her pink thong. FML
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Top comments
StanSmith_fml 9
Grandparents. They say the truth, even if it hurts.
Kajol123 5
At least she acknowledged you....unlike mine :/ baby steps, OP
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Comments (150)
Jasonf6 0
Truth hurts huh?
Axipiter 24
61- I used to have a brotjer too but he dyed in a care accident.
Tempest559 12
See ya in another ten years grandma
trippythehippy 6
I just wanna see how tight these clothes are.... Trolllololol
mariah_victoria 0
Loooool I see what you did there ;D xD
perdix 31
I don't get it. Condoms fit very loosely -- I have to tape them in place! I guess that's because I buy the Regular Size to impress the ladies ;)
Sprechchor 12
Didn't Marilyn have a dress so tight she had to be sewn into it? Yes. She did.
NYCZO 0
Shes Still nicer than my grandmother
xgetxbentx 13
Next time ask her how she knows how tightly a condom fits.
LuckyLynx7732 5
Sorry OP, but old people suck. Its just a fact of life.
TheDrifter 24
It also had a loose skirt and bloused sleeves. Selectively tight is sexy, pants so tight that people can clearly see the outline of the vulva and the roll of excess fat forced out the top is not.