Today, my grandmother saw me for the first time in years. "Not all your clothes have to be as tight as condoms, you tramp," is probably the nicest greeting she's ever given me. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I found out my grandmother doesn't wear underwear when she bent over in front of me in her inappropriately short nightgown. FML
Today, I saw my 89 year-old grandmother naked. She just moved in with us and apparently, she has an "open door policy." FML
Today, we spent the day with my grandmother. During a family conversation, my sweet little grandmother looked me up and down, and without any hesitation said, "I remember you being so beautiful," before looking at my mother, mouthing, "What happened?" and laughing. She's 87. FML
Today, we had my grandmother with dementia round for tea. She looked me up and down and said, very matter-of-factly, "Well, with a figure like that, no one will rape you." FML
Today, my grandmother gave me a huge speech on being abstinent until marriage. Being the honest person that I am, I told her I wasn't a virgin anymore. Instead of being mad and telling me I was going to hell. She asked me what my favourite things to do sexually were. And told me hers in detail. FML
Today, my grandmother refused to wear clothes. FML
Today, some idiot introduced my grandmother to yoga pants. FML
Today, my grandma was leaning over in front of me, vacuuming, while wearing a V-neck shirt. Out of instinct, I glanced at her chest. She's 75. I checked out my 75 year-old grandma. FML
Today, I took my grandma to the hospital to visit her estranged husband who she hasn't seen in years. After a thoroughly disasterous visit, we're waiting in the carpark and my gran strokes my face and tells me I have a lot of facial hair. I thought she was going to thank me. And I'm a girl. FML
Today, my grandmother ripped her pants. We all got a big view of her pink thong. FML
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Top comments
StanSmith_fml 9
Grandparents. They say the truth, even if it hurts.
Kajol123 5
At least she acknowledged you....unlike mine :/ baby steps, OP
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Comments (150)
Calyx_fml 22
The opposite saying goes for her ******. (bury me)
chasec23 4
What greetings could possibly be worse?
crazycatloverr 7
I agree, tho i like wearing my brotjers clothes because the ones my mon buys me are too toght for comfort and i like being comfy :)
Haven74 6
If she is anything like my husband's grandmother, anything tighter than a baggy sweatshirt is "too tight", and anything cut lower than a crew neck shirt is "too low"... She's not exactly qualified to be the fashion police with her embroidered baggy sweatshirts and elastic-waist double-knit pants. Take into consideration how your grandmother dresses before taking her critical critique to heart... Unfortunately, as for her rudeness towards you, take solace in the fact you don't have to see her often.
Haven74 6
I think I confused another reply with OP's... Circumstances of replying via mobile. OP might have to see her grandmother every day. If that's the case, find something to do to occupy yourself away from her as much as possible.
Zachthejoker 10
Shes in her what, 70's or 80's. She doesnt give a **** anymore. She could shit in a box and give it to a kid for his birthday, and not think twice about it
TheDrifter 24
A size 4 woman will always look better in a size 4 than she does in a size 2, irregardless of how fond I am of the "I'm desperate with zero self esteem" message that clothes 2 sizes too small sends.
ph3n0m3n0n 1
Stop dressing like a **** and Grandma won't have to say those things
YesyDidWhat 0
Grandparents (sometimes) think we should dress like nuns-.- seriously FYL, don't mind her she'll get used to how people dress now in days. And I'm sure you didn't look like a tramp she was just being old and grouchy.
alpacaman 5
My girlfriend told me that when she was 15 her and a couple of friends went out on Halloween and she went as a nun, and her grandmother was proud. Daddy's little **** I guess
YesyDidWhat 0
I understand but you never know, maybe OP isn't even a ****. Maybe grandma was just exaggerating and being a bitch. Sometimes old people get grouchy and can be pretty mean.
stepymac 15
Wtf???????
Shit_talkin_chik 5
Yeah, as said, dnt dress like you're about to go walk the blvd for money like a hoe& Gma wouldn't have to call you on your shit.