Today, my grandmother saw me for the first time in years. "Not all your clothes have to be as tight as condoms, you tramp," is probably the nicest greeting she's ever given me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out my grandmother doesn't wear underwear when she bent over in front of me in her inappropriately short nightgown. FML
Today, I saw my 89 year-old grandmother naked. She just moved in with us and apparently, she has an "open door policy." FML
Today, we spent the day with my grandmother. During a family conversation, my sweet little grandmother looked me up and down, and without any hesitation said, "I remember you being so beautiful," before looking at my mother, mouthing, "What happened?" and laughing. She's 87. FML
Today, we had my grandmother with dementia round for tea. She looked me up and down and said, very matter-of-factly, "Well, with a figure like that, no one will rape you." FML
Today, my grandmother gave me a huge speech on being abstinent until marriage. Being the honest person that I am, I told her I wasn't a virgin anymore. Instead of being mad and telling me I was going to hell. She asked me what my favourite things to do sexually were. And told me hers in detail. FML
Today, my grandmother refused to wear clothes. FML
Today, some idiot introduced my grandmother to yoga pants. FML
Today, my grandma was leaning over in front of me, vacuuming, while wearing a V-neck shirt. Out of instinct, I glanced at her chest. She's 75. I checked out my 75 year-old grandma. FML
Today, I took my grandma to the hospital to visit her estranged husband who she hasn't seen in years. After a thoroughly disasterous visit, we're waiting in the carpark and my gran strokes my face and tells me I have a lot of facial hair. I thought she was going to thank me. And I'm a girl. FML
Today, my grandmother ripped her pants. We all got a big view of her pink thong. FML
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Top comments
StanSmith_fml 9
Grandparents. They say the truth, even if it hurts.
Kajol123 5
At least she acknowledged you....unlike mine :/ baby steps, OP
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Comments (150)
blcksocks 19
Lol. Burka?
gasbandit 2
This Grandma is AWESOME.
rosesofash860 8
Oops! Autocorrect, you meant AWFUL!!!
Bunnizlovely 1
Tell her you're just using protection, safety first. At least, That is until you get mistaken for a prostitute an raped:/
crazycatloverr 7
Rape is not something to joke about. And clothing isnt the only reason why people get abused and raped.
bazingabitches 17
Seriously? What is wrong with you and, how is that funny?!
wlddog 14
And she wonders why she is only allowed over for the holidays.
blcksocks 19
Just a joke guys. My apologies if it was offensive.
Harpy20 24
Well she sounds like she's been around a few times herself.
rosesofash860 8
Granddaughter: leave me alone you old b***h! How would you know what clothes are and are not too tight when you and Adam use to go nude in the garden!
YesyDidWhat 0
Lmfaoo, that was hilarious:D
Ninjasaurus18 9
I hate old people.
Linkerdoodles 15
Well you'd better get over that hatred because you're gonna be one of them one day...
brandonjd25 3
Maybe you shouldn't dress like a tramp?